Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Child Neglect? 4yo w/ developmental delays not getting help?

I know someone with a 4yo & the kid seems like he has some developmental delays & the parents are not taking him to receive any help & work alot so I dont know if they even see it, or are in denial.
Is there anything you can do?
I dont want to call CPS, I dont want the child taken away, they love their child very much! But I want the kid to get help!


Asked by Anonymous at 9:51 PM on Jun. 6, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • cont....This is why every state is federally mandated to provide a Birth to 3 program and every school district is federally mandated to provide Early Intervention services (ages 3-5). Parents DO NOT need to have documented proof from teachers or doctors to request evaluation & services for their child. Many doctors are not adequately trained to see the sublties of many DDs, especially the ASDs. Most pediatricians are generalists, very good at giving shots & taking temps, but crappy otherwise. Teachers are even worse at identifying children with needs unless the needs are very obvious or the child is particularly disruptive.

    If you are close with this family & chat w/the mom often or even casually, maybe you can ask her about the EI services available in your area. If she knows, chances are she's contacted them & if she doesn't, maybe she'll get the hint.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • It depends on what the delays are, I guess.

    Answer by MamaRae85 at 9:51 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • What delays are you seing may I ask? Has the doctor raised any issues? My nephew finally saw a birth to 3 program after the doctor sent someone over from Social Services because my BIL and SIL ignored the doctor's pleas that they get him evaluated.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:53 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • I think you should butt out! Sorry but I have a child with development delays and there is sometimes nothing to be done except wait, sometimes you are told to wait -it's not bad enough for there to be any help available. Unless they are actually causing the delays somehow ( eg never allowing him to utter a sound will cause a speech delay) you are way off center to suggest calling authorities. He will go to school, and any delays will be picked up on by teachers. Be a friend and don't judge.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Do you have any idea how much therapy can cost? We know my daughter has a speech delay, but it costs too much for us to pay out of pocket and we're still fighting with insurance to try to get them to cover it. And it KILLS me that she's not getting the help she needs. How do you know that these people aren't going through the same crap that we're going through with trying to get insurance to cover it?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Op here:
    - not alot of balance, falls alot, cant take simple instruction, bad/rare eye contact, not potty trained (least of worries i know!), little vocabulary (yes parents allow talking), certain things fascinate kid (spinning objects & balls), doesnt interact like the other kids 4yrs or even younger, cannot follow any type of conversation.
    -Yes, I know how much therapy can cost.. For them, In our state it would BE FREE!!! I know because I know these people.. The kid hasnt seen a Dr unless is sick ( when a child is sick, no one wants to test out their abilities! child hasnt had wellness check ups forever since they doesnt give vaccines)

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Just because you know these people doesn't mean you know what's going on in their home behind closed doors. Just because they haven't told you anything about his delays doesn't mean they don't know about them or aren't doing anything about them. Unless you are stalking them 24/7 you can't know that they haven't done anything.
    Butt out! It's not your kid, it's not abuse, it's not your problem.

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 10:10 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Sounds like autism. Consultations are free here too(WI).My son has moderate autism and was tested at 4. He had all the symptoms of the child you mentioned. I'd look up and see if your county has a birth to 3 program and give them an anon call.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:16 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Is the child being physically abused? Oh, no? Then butt out. CPS wouldnt do anything anyway!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:25 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • I agree they aren't great signs, but autism/aspergers is hard to diagnose, many doctors are very hesitant now (due to overdiagnosis in the past few years) consutations might be free but the therapy is often not. As long as they love him and care for him, I really would wait til he gets into school - they will pick it up soon enough, and all you will do by reporting them is severing another support life line- if he really has autism they will need your love and support.

    Answer by myheartx4 at 12:30 AM on Jun. 7, 2010