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How do you say "NO"?

A lot of my neighbors, family and some friends ask for money, food, use of my car, and on and on the list goes. I know I want to help them, but even though they swear they will pay me back, that really never happens. If it a small thing like a roll of toilet paper, fine, that won't hurt my budget. But sometimes they ask for their rent payment, a multi-month power bill, BIG MONEY. I feel bad when I try and say 'NO' because they know that I am very frugal and live way below my means. It is not that I broadcast it, but I can be seen buying groceries often, I drive a nice car, I have a very modest home and I don't spend money on stuff like manicures, new clothing, etc.

Would it be too tacky to say "That's not in my budget for my month"??
It is technically a lie, and they know it and so do I. I don't have a poker face so they can see my lie on my face. HELP!!!!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:22 AM on Jun. 7, 2010 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • I just say no. I used to be nice and help my relatives they took advantage. I just say no and now they never call. It has really helped me cut down my Christmas card list and realize who are the good people in my life and who are the toxic people.
    momtolucas2002

    Answer by momtolucas2002 at 11:33 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • Oh you need to toughen up and just say no, that's not gonna work for me today. You don't have to tell them why, just "No I'm sorry, not today" Think of the Dr Phil way -you are teaching them to keep coming back every time you reward them with what they ask for. They will suck you dry if you let them. Start with neighbours and practice saying no. Tell your friends you can't help them out any longer as your finncial situation changed ( and if they ask tell them you don't want to discuss it) I would help my parents out, but otherwise, expect all other adults in your life to provide for themselves. If they can't that is NOT your problem.- and actually by always providing, you are an enabler to their crap decisions - :-) LOL sorry be strong, say no
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 1:26 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • I have been there.... the only way to get them to stop coming to you... say NO!!! Otherwise - you are just giving your money away. So unless you want to give it away, then you are going to have to say NO.

    I am at a point in my life where I would just tell them the truth... "I cannot loan anymore money, because no one ever pays me back and I cannot afford to continue doing it". Then when they say "well, I will"... I would say "I'm sorry, but no". As a matter of fact, I HAVE said it! The ONLY way I ever lent someone money was IN WRITING!!! If they weren't willing to sign that they received a loan, then they are not serious about paying it back!

    SAY NO!!!!!
    ratchetlee

    Answer by ratchetlee at 1:36 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • Backbone, Backbone, Backbone - Use it!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • I'm a semi-reformed Golden Goose. I still share my food and home, but no longer buy anyone diapers or hand out cash. It turned out to be really easy. All you have to do is say "NO". It really is that simple. It's your money and you don't have to explain to anyone what you do or don't do with it. As a matter of fact, no matter what, don't explain. Just say No.


    Just try it once, you'll be surprised!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • I would never lie, I would simply tell the truth whatever that may be. And possibly give some tips on budgeting if possible. I go through this with my SO, he gets paid every 2 weeks and before the first week is up all the money is gone. I have been telling him for 2 years now that if he would let me handle the finances, we would have everything we need and most of what we want and often have some left over. But with him it's a control issue and I am adament about being a SAHM to our child. Noone is intelligent enough to raise my child properly but me, including him!
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 2:15 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • "Sorry, I can't help you this month"
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:55 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • How about "No"?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:14 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • at 1:36 AM on Jun. 7, 2010 by: ratchetlee
    I have been there.... the only way to get them to stop coming to you... say NO!!! Otherwise - you are just giving your money away. So unless you want to give it away, then you are going to have to say NO.

    I am at a point in my life where I would just tell them the truth... "I cannot loan anymore money, because no one ever pays me back and I cannot afford to continue doing it". Then when they say "well, I will"... I would say "I'm sorry, but no". As a matter of fact, I HAVE said it! The ONLY way I ever lent someone money was IN WRITING!!! If they weren't willing to sign that they received a loan, then they are not serious about paying it back!

    SAY NO!!!!!



    Very well put!!!
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 6:43 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • You are being taken advantage of here, this is what happens with good souls that find it hard to say no! Use your judgement when being supportive, do it if you can and if you can't just say so!
    older

    Answer by older at 7:19 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

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