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Advice NOW please!!

We are a dual military family. I am army and hubby is marines. We were discussing one of us ETSing out. Which means one of us retire. The reason is we are going to try and gain custody of his son from a previous marriage. I love what I do and so does he and even though I have told home I will retire and he can stay in. He told me that he appericates me doing this but feels bad because I am giving up what I love for his son. How do I make him understand that I am okay with doing this because even though he is just my stepson I love him like he was my own. I think I would enjoy being a SAHM to my son and his son who are only 3 months apart. It will be different then a soldier life. Lol but I am getting excitied also but hesitant he will feel so guilty that he will ETS out before he let's me.


Asked by Anonymous at 6:22 AM on Jun. 7, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I don't think there is a way to make him understand you're ok with it before he actually sees you being a SAHM. But talk, talk, talk! Explain how much you love his kid and how much you want to spend your days with the boys. Don't expect him to stop feeling guilty until he sees you being happy as a SAHM.

    Very sweet of you to do this BTW. And he's very sweet for feeling guilty. :)

    GL on getting the boy.

    Answer by pipermomofash at 6:37 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • just share from your heart to his heart. he will understand

    Answer by sati769leigh at 6:36 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • You'll just have to show him. What you are doing is great, and I hope your SS has a really happy life with you. We make tough choices all the time for our families. It's part of what being a family is. I stayed home for two years with our son and then I had to go back to work. I am sad to miss all that time together, but it's what is best for our family. Just do what you are doing, and do it happily and he'll see in time that you made this sacrifice willingly and lovingly.

    Answer by beckcorc at 6:57 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • Communication is the key.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:25 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • We are a military family, being a SAHM is wonderful...its a hard but rewarding job. Explain to him that when you married him, you made a vow to cherish your partner until you die. Tell him you cherish your step son and your child, and that it would be a nice change of pace for you and children react well to one on one attention. Be patient, pray about it, it will all work out.

    God Bless and good luck!

    Answer by Blueyz1981 at 8:34 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • I am so exicited at the prospect of being a SHAM. I know I can never take the place of his mother but I think he would be happier with us rather then his grandmother. And I can give him some kind of mommy figure. He hasn't seen his mom since she run off when he was 9 months and at that time she left Ryland with her mother but now that we are setlled in we can care for him properly because before my hubby was on deployment and we weren't married so I had to right to go and take ry from his nana He is 18 months and my son is 15 months. Thank for the support!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:47 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • I think that one parent should alays be in the home at all times, and Im sure he is grateful!! Noone want to feel like they are holding someone else back! Give him time and he will succumb to the idea!

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 9:05 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • Maybe he wants to be the one to stay at home...

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:05 AM on Jun. 7, 2010