Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What do you do when time out doesn't work?

I am a mom to 2 daughters, aged 3 1/2 and 18 months. My three year old has had quite the attitude lately and she's been spending a lot of time in timeout. It usually works like this: DD throws something/hits/talks back and I put her in the corner. She won't stand quietly and continues talking back or won't stay in the corner. At this point I put her on her bed. If she doesn't sit quietly (she usually starts screaming that she doesn't like me anymore or some other rude thing) then I shut her door. I don't know what else to do to discipline her. She usually continues to scream, yell, or kick the wall after I shut her door. Do I ignore this or give her another consequence? Besides using time-out, I try to give other fitting consequences. For example, if she throws her toys, I take them away and put them in the attic for a few days. Anyone have any good suggestions?

Answer Question

Asked by MamaApril2 at 9:31 AM on Jun. 7, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • momma as maddening as it is, you have to REMAIN CONSISTANT. meaning stick to the corner and KEEP PUTTING HER BACK over and over and over and over and over. she is testing you.

    Answer by sati769leigh at 9:37 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • I agree with 1st poster.

    Answer by pipermomofash at 9:47 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • Consistancy is the answer here. When she acts out for being punished do not show any emotion, simply ignore her. If she gets out of the corner, put her back in it. If she talks make sure you have a timer and reset it so she sees you mean business. Sometimes the reinforcement is key here.

    Answer by carmadsmom at 10:01 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • Like the others have said, consistency is the key. Buy a timer and use it when you put her in the corner. She is 3 years old, so 3 minutes on the timer. Every time she gets out of the corner, put her back in and reset the timer. We find that our kiddos do much better knowing there is a concrete amount of time that they need to be in time out. By changing punishments part way through you are showing her that she can manipulate the situation.

    Answer by mupt02 at 10:29 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • I watch 5 of my grandchildren and the only thing I do if time out doesn't work is to take away something that they want to do,such as,playing outside. etc. Each child is different so no one works the same on all.

    Answer by nana2u10 at 10:48 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • There are other methods of discipline other than timeouts. go to your local bookstore or library and look in the parenting section. You may find something that works just don't switch from one to another alot. As others mention, consistency is key. Trying too many things without giving them a chance may make things worse. One suggestion for you. Make sure you give your child lots of praise when she's doing something right. If she gets attention when she's being good, you may find her reasons for being bad decrease. Also, pay attention to what triggers the problems. Heading it off before it starts then praising good behavior may very well help. Lastly, make sure you get a variety of activity and outdoor time each day. I find my son's behavior gets noticably worse when we're inside for too long (he turned 3 in April).

    Answer by momofryan07 at 11:13 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • WHen she screams, she wants another reaction out of you. SImply ignore her. When my 4 yr old has a meltdown that bad (which nowadays, rarely happens) then I put him in his room, close the door and ignore him alltogether. He knows that he will never get anywhere when he acts like that. As soon as he calms down, he will open the door (sniffling) come out, and we'll talk about his behavior -- calmly.

    Answer by MammaRed at 2:45 PM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • Have you considered spanking her little bottom?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • I agree with the consistency comments. No form of discipline just WORKS on the first time, every time, especially not on normal childhood behaviors like testing boundaries, throwing, hitting etc. You're not going to eliminate these behaviors right away, but you will teach your child that those behaviors have consequences and eventually your child will avoid them to avoid the consequence.


    Answer by AMsMommy212 at 3:25 PM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • Maybe you should make her stay in time out until she is quiet, then start the time out. Make sure that she understands the rule.

    Answer by ddbz at 6:27 PM on Jun. 7, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.