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What type of things can I do to handle stress?

My husband doesn't help with the house cleaning or anything to do with the kids. And when he yells at them he only loses his temper and makes everything so much more stressfull.. I can't handle the stress of this house anymore. What can I do to handle it a little better without wanting to run outside screaming with my hair falling out? And going to do anything for myself is out of the question..... I don't get that stuff, only my husband does..

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:28 PM on Jun. 7, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Oh I forgot to add .. You can take a walk, take a bath, read, listen to music .. Sometimes excersise can help reliev stress.
    When the kids are taken care of you say "Husband, you're watching the kids. I'm going to go out for a while." and don't take "No" for an answer. He has a responsibility to those children, and don't let him say otherwise. Take control and allow some time for yourself.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:02 PM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • Sad to hear, leave him if he will not get therapy to work through the problems. If he feels there is nothing wrong he will never change, I learned that the hard way.

    Does not sound like a healthy inviorment for any of you. You need to be happy and healthy in order to take care of the family and home. It is hard, scary and everything but it is like your a single mom now anyway. The only thing he is he is helping provide probably.
    Your children come first and too keep them healthy you must do what is best for you guys. My x use to say, you can't make it, blah, blah blah and I survived with 2 kids and will continue to survive.

    Good luck and questions or advice I am just an email away.
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 2:38 PM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • I would put my foot down and tell him you need to go out and do something for YOURSELF! I went through this with my DH, (still do at times too) He actually made me feel guilty about going to a much needed Drs appt recently. he also loves to go to his Kung Fu, but God forbid I get to go to a yoga class without him ho-humming about how he really needed to get some work done that night, right? But I finally started calling my dad and step mom into baby sit, even though i don't like them much, it came down to I NEEDED some me time. Use any resource you can or go off on DH a bit on how you feel.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:45 PM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • Tell your husband he had better man up and take responsibility. He created this life with you and he better damn well take care of it. Whether he likes it or not. He is your husband and the father of those kids (I figure so), so he has 50% responsibility with that household and those kids. .. I didn't stand for that with my husband. I put an and to it. He helps out a lot more now and I appriciate it soo much. He sees that things around here are soo much happier and calmer.

    Now if I only could get him off his computer and spend some quality time with us.. Ugh!
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:01 PM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • Or, you could always go on a strike yourself. Stop cleaning, except what is absolutley neccessary foryou and your kids (their laundry) Stop cooking big meals. make just enough for the kids, eat simply for yourself. He can cook his own meals and if he wants something cleaned he can do it himself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:43 PM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • You have to stand your ground, honestly. If you don't voice your opinion, then how is he suppose to know what is going on and how you feel? There is NOTHING wrong with you leaving to do your own thing. As soon as my kids go down for bed (8pm) I go shopping about 2-4 days a week. That is MY time. My husband gets to leave the house every day (I don't care if it's for work. He atleast can LEAVE his work, where I'm stuck at mine 24/7). I'm usually only gone an hour to an hour and half but that's all I need. He complains sometimes that he wants me to stay home, but sometimes I just need to get out! lol!

    Also, I've noticed that listening to my favorite songs on my ipod or the radio while I doing the house work helps. I tend to dance and sing and just be in a lot happier mood. I can't dance and sing in a bad mood I guess! lol!
    things_not_sane

    Answer by things_not_sane at 4:56 PM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • As a 'baby step' there are some things you can do to relax at home. Pick a small bathroom or corner of your house that is 'Your Zone.' No kids, no work. Get an iPod or even a regular radio, a book you like, healthy snacks or a cup of tea (the good kind!). Every day you get a minimum of 2 20-minute breaks 'in the zone.' The kids will be kept alive and your DH will gain confidence that he can and should pitch in and help some of the time.
    tigrefan98

    Answer by tigrefan98 at 5:16 PM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • Listening to music whether it be on a ipod, a radio, etc. can help to alleviate stress. Also, taking a walk away from the environment to do an errand, get some "you time" or get out for a little while will give you a chance to think about something different..
    CafeMochaMom1

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 7:16 PM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • This might sound a lil crazy, but I saw it on Oprah and it wasnt until i tried it is that I know it works and very cost effective $$ 1.00 anywho when u r to the brink of chaos go to the bathroom (BY YOURself) i know that is hard with kids, but it is a musat and a prority, Next dip that stick inside the liquid and lift and blow the most fabulous bubbles ever, i dont know why but there is something deliciously wicked about blowing some kiddie bubbles while your children are calling mom repeatedly utside the door, and the husband might just think you have a bowel prob cause ur in there so lon !!! Does it feel better than a mani pedi or an hour massage He!! NO but it is a silly little pleasure!!! Hope it works, if that doesnt work Moscato or sangria is always nice!! any way be encouraged!!!
    Sunshine1000

    Answer by Sunshine1000 at 8:46 PM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • That is not stress, sounds by your typing like abuse. I agree with the first answer & was told the same thing. " You can't make it." Well it is near 12 years later & we are just fine. I left because any man screaming & angry with a child is BAD & I be damned if he was going to do it on a DAILY basis to MINE !!!

    strongmom40

    Answer by strongmom40 at 8:10 AM on Jun. 8, 2010