Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What do you think about breastfeeding an adopted child? i know its more healthy, and i want to, but his biological mom doesnt like it much, i have 2 of her children, from abuse and neglect and i dont think she has the right to tell me what i should do with him, What do you think?

the doctor said that he reccomends it highly, if im comfortable with it and im not sure i am he got a late start and is almost 8 months old,,,, HELP ME I ONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer Question

Asked by CholandBradley at 4:38 PM on Sep. 26, 2008 in Adoption

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (36)
  • First of all, it does not matter what the birth mom wants or not. If you legally adopt a child, they are yours. If you want to breastfeed, then go ahead and do it. From the sounds of it, the mother isn't that great of a mother if you already have two of her children.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:40 PM on Sep. 26, 2008

  • If I adopted a child, I would not breastfeed that child. Not because of what the birth mother says....just because I don't enjoy breastfeeding.

    If you want - DO IT. If the issue is the act of breastfeeding - then go ahead - you adopted the child - it's your right. If the issue is the actual breastmilk.......then pump and feed the child with a bottle.

    Answer by lrobles1983 at 4:45 PM on Sep. 26, 2008

  • thanks!

    Answer by CholandBradley at 4:48 PM on Sep. 26, 2008

  • Nothing wrong with it. Women have been doing it since the begining. Don't worry about that woman. If she had any authority and responsibility, her baby would still be in her care.

    Answer by Moniquemarie1 at 6:37 PM on Sep. 26, 2008

  • A friend of my mom told me, that when she gave birth to her daughter (30yrs old now) she also breast fed a baby from someone else because this other woman didnt have enough milk.

    I didnt like this idea at all. I wouldnt feel comfortable with breast feeding someone elses baby, even if I adopted it. I was breastfeeding my daughter (half breast, half bottle - not enough breastmilk) and I thought it was something really special for me and my baby. But i just cant imagine breastfeeding a baby thats not mine. I know that breastmilk is the best you can have for a baby, but still. I wouldnt do it.

    I wouldnt want anyone else to breastfeed my daughter, so I can kind of understand your childs birth-mother, even tho she seems to be a shitty mother.

    But if you feel comfortable with it, then go for it. Just the best for the baby and you are the "mother" now, so its your decision. :)

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 7:34 PM on Sep. 26, 2008

  • In response to m.robertson811: How you felt breastfeeding your daughter is how mothers who adopt feel about breastfeeding their children. Being an adoptive mom myself, it's really hard for me to see someone refer to an adopted child as "someone elses baby." Just because we didn't give birth does not make that child any less "ours" in our heart and soul.

    I wish that we would of had more "warning" in getting DD because I would have loved to of had enough time to of prepared my breasts to of breastfed her. The BMom has no say on whether you breastfeed or not. If you want to, do it...they are your children and you are the one that decides what is best for them.

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 8:05 PM on Sep. 26, 2008

  • I'm an adoptve mother too. Research shows that breastfeeding an adoptive child can be difficult. You will have to go through a lot to prepare yourself to produce milk - it may or may not happen. Then you'll get your hopes up the 8 month old will take to your brest, but she may not. Then, there can be a huge feeling of disappointment and failure on your part. If you got the baby at 1 or 2 months, maybe, but I think 8 months is too old. JMHO

    To Robertson. Please, never adopt. You obviously have no idea that two people can have an extremely close bond regardless of giving birth or not. If you're married, let me ask you this... your DH is not your flesh and blood, but I bet you feel very intimate, personal, and have a deep love with him. See - it is possible to share something "special" with someone not blood related to you. Duh.

    Answer by DaphneMae at 8:07 PM on Sep. 26, 2008

  • thanks!

    Answer by CholandBradley at 8:54 PM on Sep. 26, 2008

  • Mhhh.. seems like ive been misunderstood. Or i just choosed the wrong words (due to my bad english).I only said, that - I - couldnt do it. I wouldnt (probably) feel comfortable with it. And I never said that you couldnt love an adopted child less than your own children. So many ppl cant have kids - which is the no.1 reason to adopt a child. And when I said "someone elses baby" then I mean its not your biological child. Of course you are the mother now, but not by blood. But sometimes - escpecially in this case a mother by heart is 100times better than a mother by blood.DaphneMae, youre really offending by saying i should never adopt. You dont know me or anything about me. You judge me by 1 answer i posted here.

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 9:11 PM on Sep. 26, 2008

  • I was only talking about myself and how I feel about it. That I probably could not breastfeed a child that i didnt give birth to and I would not like anyone else breastfeeding my daughter. But thats only my opinion about -myself-. And if you read my last sentence in my last post then you should see that i said: "But if you feel comfortable with it, then go for it. Just the best for the baby and you are the "mother" now, so its your decision. :)"Everything else was just about myself.I dont know how to explain it. If you guys can breastfeed a child you didnt give birth to then thats great. Because I already said, that breastmilk is the best for a baby you can have (food wise).


    Answer by m.robertson811 at 9:12 PM on Sep. 26, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.