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Why do you choose not to spank your child? What inspired you?

I saw how well my daughter responded to me without physical discipline.

I remember when she was about 14 months old. She was squirming a lot on the changing mat, and I popped her little leg. She looked at me with fear in her little eyes. It was then and there that I decided I would never again hit my child. I never want to see that look of fear in her eyes again.

She is 23 months old and is a sweety pie. I'm glad I don't have to hit her in order to get her to behave.

What is your story?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:03 PM on Jun. 7, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Mine is about the same as yours.. I couldn't stand to see the look of hurt on her face...not from the spank but the recognition that mommy, who is supposed to protect her from the bad things, just hurt her intentionally. She is a well behaved child too at 3 years.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:05 PM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • I would never want my kids to be scared of me. My son never responded to spanking then we started time outs and he listens. Also, I've read research about it and it doesn't work.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 11:07 PM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • So good to hear that you dont want to spank to discipline. Although it is a personnal decision, my mom was very abuse to me while I was growing up. Out of control abusive. I have never laid a hand on my kids and they are teens now, so grateful I didnt follow my mothers pattern of abuse.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 PM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • My husband and I don't spank our child! In my opinion, it's a form of abuse!

    Our child is very well behaved. He has such a tender heart and is so loving! I'm very lucky to have him - he is my life!


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 PM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • I spank my children because it works. They have absolutely no fear of me whatsoever. I am still the person they cry out for when they're scared or hurt. I spank my children, I do not abuse them. My mother broke my jaw when I was 12, she intentionally burned me when I was 7, she locked me in closets whenever she had a "boyfriend" over throughout my entire childhood. She cracked my ribs when I was 9, 11, 12, and 13 years old. Anyone who says spanking is abuse can go to hell. It's great that your children all seem to be angels according to you, now I'm not disagreeing with that but I'm sure your jaw would drop if you knew how many mom I've known that say their kid is well behaved and yet I've seen those same kids hit, spit, bite, talk back, and be mean to other children when their parents are not around.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • BTW I checked out this question out of curiosity, I originally had no intention to answer to it since I do spank my children but it pisses me off when people want to say spanking is abuse or that it doesn't work

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • For the last anonymous that wrote on June 8 at 12: 03, I think you need to get checked, when I read your comment, you sound almost feel like you are reliving some of your anger that you hold against your mother, obviously your mom did you harm and your frustrations is what makes you act the way you do towards your kids, kids behavior develop through parents actions, so the results from your spanking will give you the kids you describe at the end of your comment, of course your kids cry when you leave, they love you no matter what, I think you need to do some healing, hopefully you are not beating up your kids, the way your mom did, ask your kids today, what do they think we you spank them, what are they feelings?, let's not hope that when they grow up they won't be able to talk to you about their issues because they are resented towards you.

    Answer by Nanny_Mohr at 12:19 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I would rephrase the question and ask ppl what made them think striking a little human was a good idea?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • No I hold nothing against my mother - no hate, no anger. What I was angry about was that people say spanking is abuse. There is a difference. I spank my children - I do not beat them or abuse them. I didn't say they cry when I leave. If the get scared, for example they have a nightmare, I'm the one they cry out for. If they're playing outside and get hurt I am the one they want to make them feel better. My children are loving and affectionate. My 4 year old even has a routine of cuddling with me every morning after her sister goes to school. You think I haven't been checked...after everything my mother put me through? I've been to therapy and had psych evals plenty of times and I'm saner and less conflicted than most. I'm a happy person. I have a happy life. I have great friends, a good family (siblings, aunts/uncles, cousins, and dad), a loving man, wonderful children who don't always behave but aren't mean hurtful brats.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • Answered at 12:09 AM
    BTW I checked out this question out of curiosity, I originally had no intention to answer to it since I do spank my children but it pisses me off when people want to say spanking is abuse or that it doesn't work

    Spanking is not a form of discipline. It's a form of punishment. It works to stop an undesired behavior, but it doesn't teach your child anything. I could hit my kid all day long, and she would probably stop doing all the little things that annoy me. But that's NOT the kind of relationship I want with her. My hands were not made to strike my child (ok, I'll use the word SPANK since spanking parents seem to get offended when I say STRIKE).

    It makes me sad when I hear parents say that thay HAVE to spank their child. They try time out or redirection once or twice and give up. Or they dismiss it as "wimpy". Whatever. It works if you are consistent.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 AM on Jun. 8, 2010