Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I like one kid better than the other

Anybody else feel this way? I much prefer my older daughter to the younger one. Maybe because the youngest is still a baby and can't do anything but walk around and look cute? I love both my kids, don't get me wrong, but I just prefer to be with my oldest. Am I horrible?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:09 AM on Jun. 8, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • I'm finding it hard to like my younger ones better than my oldest. I don't think our love for them is less, but we have more of a history with our first....you know? that's how I reason it at least. She's my one and only daughter and I have 3 boys who are after her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I like when the children get older too! It's not that you love one more than the other, you just love the age better:)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I don't feel this way about my kids, but I encourage you to show affection and love to both kids. Love is a choice. We choose to love our husbands when we don't cheat, we choose to love our kids when we spend time reading to them.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 12:12 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I am lucky, I have a boy and a girl. .... but ..... I do sometimes go back and forth. I preferred my son for a long, long time. Perhaps I still do. My son is so kind and charming. My daughter lacks his intense empathy, she cares only for herself. BUT... that is age appropriate! I was spoiled by having such a perfect little person 1st, I think. Plus his birth was traumatic, it drew us close. And he's had some serious health problems and has been fussed over alot. She had an easy birth and never an ear infection. It's tough..... just keep trying :)
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 12:14 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • Yes, don't forget your eldest is older and more mature, but when he or she was the youngest' age, you had patience that your now youngest deserves!
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 12:16 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • No bashing,,but I love my kids the same,.they both came out of my belly. They used to ask when they where little, who did I love more? I told them I loved them equally cause they where my babies. I was adopted and felt like my mom loved my older dd more then me cause she was their natural dd,,but I couldnt even imagine giving birth to two kids and loving one more then the other one...hope things work out for you
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I love my children the same but I have more of a connection with my younger one, partly because my 5 year old has always been very independent and my 4 year old has always been a mommy's girl. Also when my 5 year old turned 3 her father took her for a regular visit (he didn't take her sister because he claimed she was too little to do anything with!) and because we didn't have a set custody agreement he took her and said he wasn't bringing her back home. It took 2 years to get her back, during the custody fight I had visitation but only one weekend a month because he lived out of state. So now I just feel like I don't know her as well as I know my 4 year old. I feel horrid at times because I can tell my 5 year old feels distant from me and she desperately wants to be closer to me but it's difficult to find time to devote solely to her. She always picks the worst times to be clingy and other times I try to reach out to her...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • ...but she doesn't want to be with anyone at those times. Like I said she's an independent child but is somewhat jealous of the attention her sister gets. My children are close and fight no more than normal sisters but I worry that she may think I love her sister more than her. I'm sorry I've ranted now...it all just sort of came out. I'm going to go lay in bed with my 5 year old now, even though she's alsleep it makes me feel closer to her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • anon 19 here, I mis-read your post,,,,wasnt about loving one over the other, just connecting with one over the other, huh? Ok,,,my bad here. I have a dd and a ds. they are teens and I swear it changes from day to day now. One will be ok, then the other one will test me with something, then it goes back around again. Maybe thats why your post was not clear to me, cause my head has been going around in circles for so many years dealing with these bundles of joy of mine!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:33 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I was my mom's favorite, but she loved all three of her children. I was also the oldest.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:57 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN