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Should I arrange my son's care when he is with my ex for a visitation?

My ex husband constantly cancels his visitations with our son. We are in the middle of a custody battle. My mom would be more than willing to watch our son, while we are at work, regardless of who has him. My ex always says he cannot get him when he has to work because he cannot afford a sitter, so should I tell him that my mom has said she will watch him while he works for free? My thing is this, I really think it is his responsibility to arrange care, but my son is always hurt when he cancels visits. I work too, so I can’t just say I will watch him when he has to work. So, should I make the offer of care that is not going to cost anything so he can keep his visitations?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:28 AM on Jun. 8, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (29)
  • If your mom is really ok with it and won't have problems with your ex when he drops off or picks up your son this sounds like a good idea. Sometimes making it easier for your child to vist with their other parent is more important than being right. Your son will likely recognize someday that the effort was primarily from you and not his dad, but in the mean time the father/son time is important to your son. GL!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:33 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • no, you are only helping him. I would report his cancelations
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 10:31 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • you cant be a dad when you want to ...his son should come first and he should care about finding child care
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 10:33 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • why not! sounds like your being the bigger person but like the first lady said keep note of the cancellations
    mirit.rose

    Answer by mirit.rose at 10:36 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • It sounds like a good idea. You cannot control him or make him behave in a fair and just way......and it sounds like a solution that can make things easier on your son.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:36 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • and dont be offended if he doesnt take you up on it
    mirit.rose

    Answer by mirit.rose at 10:36 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • it does sound like a good offer but if it were my ex he wouldnt take me up on it. It would just be an excuse to get out of keeping him. Just make sure you keep track.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 10:38 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • Are you doing this for your son?? or your self???

    Just be sure he is safe, and if you have to have your mom do it for free. Why not??? Don't be aggravated because of him, do what is right for your son.

    As for custody, how can he be fighting for it if he is constantly saying he can't afford it, that is great for you. You provide the care because he can't afford it.

    Good luck!!!
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:38 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I would offer it if your mother is willing and ok with the situation. But if he is late or is a no show on picking him up, then by all means it's your mother's right to terminate the offer. I would let him know that too. Be the bigger person in the situation....I hope things work out for everyone...and you can all be happy w/ one another...even if it's just for your son.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I think you are looking at the big picture of things. If your son will be hurt more by his fathers blowing him off and YOU being stuck in the 'last minute round up for a sitter because 'dad' backed out . It might be in your & your sons best interrest for you to open the offer to him about your mom, ONLY while he has to work, & maybe stress the ONLY while he has to work part.'~If your son is comfortable with your mom & thats whats best for him.
    Stefono

    Answer by Stefono at 10:44 AM on Jun. 8, 2010