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what do I do now?

I recently got custody of my little sister, who is 14. She has had a bad childhood, rape and abuse and 2 pregnancies already, one at 13, one just a few months ago. At 13, her dr recomended and abortion, the pregnancy would have killed her. The second, she miscarried. Now, she is pregnant again. She told me she doesn't know who the father is, that he is one of our mothers many bfs. She says he raped her, and I believe her. She told me that she doesn't want to report him. I respect that, our mother tends to have violent, dangerous bfs and my sis is scared. She wants to have an abortion, but it goes against what she believes, yet she still wants to go through with it. I know it's going to hurt her emotionally, but she is adamant about it. How can I make her see that it's going to be harmful to her in the long run? I am pro-choice, it makes this extra difficult, in the same position, I had no prblm wit getting abortion

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Jun. 8, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (17)
  • you need to go to the police and report the rape
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 10:57 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I know I should. But she has no idea what the guys name is, she doesn't even know for sure which one the father is. I can't put her through anything else, especially something that won't actually bring any results. I know, I reported multiple rapes that never amounted to anything but me getting called a slut.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I understand what you and your sister may be going through but have you and her consider giving the baby up for adoption?
    mom42107

    Answer by mom42107 at 11:11 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • She has lost 2 babies, has this had a negative effect on her mentally? she may be OK with the next.... She doesnt know who the father is? So is she sleeping around? Or getting raped by more than 1 person? Or what?
    I feel for her & hope her the best in her life... If she gets an abortion I would be sure to get her on birthcontrol ASAP!
    *hugs*
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • Yes, we have talked about adoption, but she doesn't want to. She was in foster care before I managed to get custody, she doesn't want to have a baby when there are so many kids who need parents.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I would try to get some outside counseling for your sister to help her make this important desicion. I think I would also look into counseling for yourself as you have taken on a huge responsibility and are dealing with a really difficult situation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • She's been raped by multiple men. We've already talked about birth control.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • It's rape simply due to her age so that part is not even an issue but the abortion thing is. I read a book by Dr Brian Weiss who said that abortion is NOT murder but it's an agreement between mom and baby that now is not the right time to be born. The baby can be born another time in life. Hugs to your sister. Please get her counseling. These men have done a lot of damage but let her know it is NOT HER FAULT. She needs to know that and that she's valued as more than a sex object.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • Thank you for all the suggestions. We are in counseling, but she isn't opening up to the therapist. She does blame herself. Thank you so much for that quote, 10:28. I think I will look for that book, and show it to her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • It's rape simply due to her age so that part is not even an issue but the abortion thing is. I read a book by Dr Brian Weiss who said that abortion is NOT murder but it's an agreement between mom and baby that now is not the right time to be born.

    Sorry I just had to comment on this. How is it an agreement between the mom and baby if the baby has no voice, or no say in the matter at all?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

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