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am i risking him cheating on me?

Ever since I had DS I have had NO sex drive at all. we did it once in the last 4 months and it hurt pretty bad. Besides the hurting part I am up a few times every night with DS and just feel to tired and when DS goes to sleep, all I want to do is sleep. DH is always trying but I hate trying to act like i want it when I really dont. What should I do? I don't thnk he would ever cheat but am i risking it here?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Jun. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Go see a dr about it hurting. That could be an indicator of something being wrong. If he loves you, he won't cheat. But definitely see a dr.
    The rest will come with time, and energy. Also, don't forget that your husband would probably like some affection from you.

    Answer by Fawn80 at 11:55 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • If he loves you, he won't cheat.

    You have to go to the doctor and see what is going on. It might be scar tissue then can be lasered off. I went through that, but it was also stress, i was taking on too much and needed help and was aggravated with him because of it.

    Alot of things come into play, plan it out and relax that day tell him tonight is our night so I need to relax and prepare for your attack, play it off. Let him know you are sensitive down there and he should take it easy and make you comfortable. Just try to give him some, and let him know how you feel it does not mean you don't love him. He needs to hear it.

    Answer by KFree907 at 11:56 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I would say go to a doctor and tell your DH what is going on and that you are going to go to the doctor to try and fix this problem because you love him and want to make love with him again. Tell him that it is very upsetting to you knowing that your not satisfying him ( guys like to hear crap like that ).

    Answer by youngmom33 at 11:58 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • just make sure you don't let yourself take too long I understand u r a new mommy and that takes it's toll but he has to understand hey you need some time off as well so if he doesn't mind taking care of the baby for a few then by the evening you'll be ready to jump his bones but you have to get ur mind ready for it. you don't want to tell him that you'll give him some and then when the time comes u lied he will feel very neglected. just talk it out and be honest and go with the flow GL Once the kids grow older it won't always b like this hang in there!!!!

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 12:00 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • It is highly likely that your body has become depleted of vitamins and minerals that are essential to sex drive and mood balance, most specifically all B vitamins, iron, Vitamin C and zinc. Pregnancy is notorious for stripping the body of these vitamins and minerals and it would be wise to go and have a blood test done to determine if you are deficient in any or all of them in order to properly manage treatment.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 12:01 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I don't agree with KFREE907. Many men love their wife but still find sex elsewhere. Maybe some playtime might help until you find out what's up with your pain. Hand job or bj would probably make his day. Compromise is something I tell a lot of couples.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:21 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • there is never an excuse for cheating! That is a silly question!

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 12:35 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • never an excuse, but its still possible. during the middle of the night- have him take care of the baby. kind of make a compromise- if i get one full night of sleep, i'll be more energized to do it. but def go to the docs to see the pain

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 12:43 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • You do need to go to the doc. About the pain, and the lack of energy. Aside from getting up several times a night, maybe there is more to it. Do you nap? Also, do you show your hubby attention in other ways? He does need attention. There is no excuse for cheating, but that doesn't mean it won't happen. Even if he loves you. It is possible. I sure hope not. But you can't ignore him, so I hope you aren't. (I'm not saying you are) Sex hurts for me, and the docs aren't being very helpful. IDK what the hell to do, other then suck it up. But I didn't have a baby 4 months ago. You did, so go get it checked out, ok? I hope all gets better.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 3:18 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • are you worried (subconciously) about getting preggers again so soon after haveing a baby? i know after my sister ad her last one she was terrified of having sex, worried about getting knocked up again, and the stress made her muscles clench, and she was unable to relax, therefore causing discomfort. just an idea, but you should still go to your doctor, me and my hubby waited about 3 weeks before we did it last time, and the more you do it, the less it will hurt....

    Answer by daughterofearth at 4:21 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

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