Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

i dont know how to be a mom! DS is 4.. and practically on his own.

he made his own breakfast this morning. as well as getting snacks throughout the day to make up for his lunch. he goes to the sitters in 2 hours and i have no idea if i should make him dinner here, or wait til he eats there. its 3pm right now and i have no idea.

i have no idea how to be a parent-- how to interact and care for a child, how to provide for a child, etc. i just dont know and i hate that its taken me THIS long to realize it!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Jun. 8, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (12)
  • as long as you shelter feed and love your child thats all it takes
    independence is great

    Answer by mirit.rose at 3:23 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • Communication with the sitter would help with some of that but there are women who don't know how to be a mom. I thought my mom was a good person but not a good mom so I took every class i could find to learn how to be a good mom. I needed all the help I could get. Talk with friends and neighbors and go see how they handle it at their house. You can figure this all out. If all else fails, full time sitter might be the answer. (not bashing, it's just a thought)

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:24 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • Aww We all feel like we are at a loss sometimes. You can take a class or get some books to help you out.

    Answer by ria7 at 3:25 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • Mirit please tell me you are kidding...

    OP, I would encourage you to look into some parenting classes. I am certain if you contact your local DSHS office that can help you look into that. Also maybe get involved with other mommies with 4 year olds and spend some time around them...Good luck to you and your little man.

    Answer by mamakirs at 3:25 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • i took parenting classes when i was pregnant with him-- as well as went to college for early childhood development- i quit half way through b/c of scheduling/finances though.

    i definitely love the independence, but i read posts on here about how their 4 year old is up the parents butt and all i can think is "wow- its 3:30 and i've seen my kid for maybe 20 minutes today.. and he's with me all day- jsut in different areas of teh apartment"... and then the meal posts- whats for breakfast/lunch/dinner.. and i'm thinking nothing b/c i dont really eat and DS eats snack foods since i dont make any real food.

    i'll definitely be looking into parenting classes. do they offer childcare, or let the kids in the classes too? the only reason DS goes to a sitter is b/c i go to school. i cant afford fulltime, or even anymore over what what my class schedule is like.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • i've also looked up play groups (on here, meetup, mommy and me website, CL) and i cant seem to find any that are really active.

    i want to be a good mom, or a better one than i am now.. i just hope i'm able to do it before ruining my son's life for good.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • Start simple, prepare his meals for him, and plan one interactive activity with him every day. Here's some ideas....color a picture together, play a game together, have a tickle war, fix popcorn and watch his favorite movie with him, push him on the swing, play catch with him. Anything really, kid's just want that one on one attention sometimes, even if it is just for 15 minutes at a time. Give him plenty of hugs and kisses. Plan special outings once a week, to the park, a play date, play group, zoo, or go to the library and let him pick out a book for you to read to him. This is his only childhood, don't miss out on it. Good luck:)

    Answer by JeanetteRene at 3:36 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • "i want to be a good mom, or a better one than i am now" - The desire is there and you see the problem, therefore you are heading in the right direction. Best of luck to you.

    Answer by texasgurl33 at 3:38 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • play groups are hard to find. IMO. Try and Also try going to the park at the same time on the same day each week. You would be surprised how quickly you find out that there are other moms doing the same thing. It's like an unorganized playgroup. Also your local library may do morning kids programs that are free and a lot of mom's come to all of them so you will get to know them there also.
    There is nothing wrong with independence but being with your child is something that is irreplaceable. Take small steps. Start by just making him a sandwich at the same lunch time every day and sitting with him at the table while he eats. It's important for kids to have consistency. If he makes his own breakfast fine but you make his lunch and take that time to talk to him. You will be amazed at what he knows and talks about.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 4:58 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • Talk to your sitter. The two of you are both working together to raise this child so she will have some great input for you. She can help you head in the right direction. She will want to help you. She loves your child as much as you do and in that will want to be there for you. So just start small with set meal times and being with him during those times. YOU can add other aspects to your routine later. Like story time, park day, bath time, library day, art time...independent play is awesome and will be your friend but don't miss out on interacting with him. YOu'll miss it later.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 5:01 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Preschoolers (3-4)
Favorite Carnival Game

Next question overall (Just for Fun)