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My son wants to meet his dad

Hey,

My son wants to meet his dad. His dad is like a ghost, very hard to find. I know he is married to and wondered if anyone thought if contacting her would be a good idea. I know that she could get hurt, but I was hurt when I found out. His father's mother and fmaily never told me he was married, when I found out I immediately ended the relationship with him. My son is 5 now and said that he is sad. Any advice?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Jun. 8, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • My son wanted to see his dad when he was 6. I dreaded the idea and I just let it go....we hadn't heard from him since son was 2 1/2, he had left our marriage of 8 years when ds was 1 1/2, "didn't want to be a dad" was ONE of his reasons.

    As ds got older, I tried to find him, but his is a very common last name like Johnson....I thought I found him, but his wife said "that's not my husband". So, who knows? I did get CS from the State, and they went after him whenever they could find him....his whole family learned how to live off the grid....

    I have no real advice, just wanted to say GL with whatever you do. My son is 19 now and he doesn't say anything about the subject anymore. That finding the "wife" thing happened 3 years ago, so ds understands the whole picture now. At least as much as I know.
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 5:10 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I would contact him and let him know that your child wants to meet his father. Then see what he wants to do . I would not contact his wife that will bring on more drama then needed and may deter him from wanting to see your son. GL in whatever you choose to do !!
    mommymandaleigh

    Answer by mommymandaleigh at 4:29 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I would try to let it ride. GL
    QandA

    Answer by QandA at 4:32 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I'd be getting child support from the man. She needs to know she has a step son. He needs to be responsible. These men can't just deposit sperm and move on. These are living breathing children. Yes, I'd contact him and tell him to be a man and a dad. If not, then at least pay CS
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:48 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • i would call him and tell him that his son wants to see him! your lil boy has the right to see his father! good luck mom!
    gonzalez3

    Answer by gonzalez3 at 4:51 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • Thanks everybody. It is just really hard to find him and the wife is the easiest. I have him on CS, but he doesn't pay. I have gotten money once. I just don't want my child feeling sad about not knowing his dad.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:57 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • yeah it's a tuff situation. i know, trust me, My DS dad wasa 28 and i was 14, how do you tell your kid that their dad is a sleaze ball? i waited until he was about 9 before explaining that his dad was no longer in the country, and i had no way of finding him, and how sorry i was. he still has issues, but no longer asks to see his dad.
    daughterofearth

    Answer by daughterofearth at 6:16 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

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