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Body issues.

So I am a single mom. I haven't done the whole "dating" thing in a really, really, really long time and the last person who saw me naked was my exhusband.

I have had 2 c-sections and am still carrying some extra weight from the last baby.
I know I can lose the weight but I also know that I can't lose the belly flap, the scar, the stretch marks, the saggy boobs, etc...

I am horrified when I see myself naked and can't imagine having anyone else ever see me this way. It wasn't so bad when it was my (ex) husband because they were HIS children that altered my body.

How can I get over my severe(almost crippling) body issues?
I know I'm not ready to date or sleep with anyone yet so I'm not in a big rush, but I don't see how I'll ever be able to let another man see me naked.
I don't want to be alone forever but if I can't get over how disgusted I am by my body, then that's exactly what will happen.



Asked by Anonymous at 5:41 PM on Jun. 8, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I feel exactly the way you do! I am divorced, and the thought of showing my body to anyone was horrifying, it stil is. My ex is my children's father, so he can't complain about the body, he helped make it that way. My SO doesn't seem to mind though. I have been with him for 8 months, and he doesn't care, he thinks I'm fine the way I am. I still find it super, duper hard to get fully naked though. I too try to keep covered, yet sexy with lingerie and stuff. I have only been fully nude in front of him a handful of times and some of those I had been drinking. So, you're not alone. I would say that when you find someone you're truly into and is into you, you will feel better about yourself and they will accept you, scars and all.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:09 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • just do the best that you can start now for starters bc when you do meet that special someone you'll be ready for anything.
    just go with the flow and don't rush anything. GL

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 5:46 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • Well, I feel the same way you do. I met a guy and he embraced all that I didn't like about myself. Stomach and all. I say let the cards fall where they may, many men understand that after childbirth things are not as they use to be. It will work itself out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:52 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • It's amazing what men can ignore on a woman's body that we ourselves are horrified about. If a man knows he's going to get sexed up, he doesn't notice stretch marks or a scar on the belly. When he sees boobs, he just thinks, "I get to play with them!" Seriously, men are a hell of a lot less critical about a woman's body than a woman is- especially when she's looking at herself.

    I'm pregnant now with #2. I put on my swimsuit the other day and thought I was better off drowning myself in the toilet. My husband came over, and told me how much he like it, and how sexy it was. He didn't give a shit about the cellulite or the road map of veins that are so visible on me. We get this horrible image of what we should look like because of models and actresses and whatnot, when in real life, when a man in confronted by an "imperfect" woman, they just care if they're gonna get laid.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:53 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I know just how you feel. I am the same way.....I can't imagine letting someone see my stretch marks and love handles....wrinkles,etc. Sad,huh?

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:56 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • Men want the excitement of sex and don't care if you expose it all to them. I don't disrobe during sex bc of scars and belly fat. I wear short skirts and button down tops with no underwear or a gown that can be pulled up or pulled down but never off. I sometimes wear a girdle/garter belt. That makes me feel better about my belly. I cut the crotch out of it to make myself accessible to SO. It's all about illusion. He still gets to where he wants to be and I get to keep my self esteem high!

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:56 PM on Jun. 8, 2010