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unhappy in MN

hi I am 30 years old from MN and I am a single mother of two children I picked up a man for a one night stand three years ago and he has never left. He is 20 years old than me. Well lately we have not been getting alone like before, I went on the facebook and found my old BF for 7th grade and we are flirting.(YES I know better). So know that maybe my flirting is making me not like my SO but he drinks and we fight sometimes. What should I do, go visit ex in other state, or stay with SO, what do I tell the SO, if I break up with him, I have tried kicking him out before and he stayed in my shed, I don't want to have him removed by the police, what it I break upwith SO and end up alone again?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:44 PM on Jun. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Sounds like you have a fear of being alone rather than doing what's right. you will never find the right man if you stay with the wrong one. Also, how do you know the other guy is the right one either?

    Answer by Jademom07 at 5:47 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • If you really don't want to be with your SO, what does it matter if you have to have the police remove him. You shouldn't feel obligated to stay with someone that you are not happy with. Sounds like a restraining order is needed. I would let him go.

    Next, you can't worry about being lonely. Your safety and well being is more important than being alone. There are plenty of men out there, so don't sell yourself short.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:49 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • It sounds like he is just using you. I would tell him it's not working anymore and he has to go. Legally you'd have to evict him if he wont' go but I'd put a lock on the shed if he does leave! What kind of man is 50 and lives in a shed bc he has no where to go? He sounds like a loser.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:52 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I'm a single mom of 2 as well and I'm around the same age as you.

    I am alone.

    I decided a long time ago that I would not settle just for the sake of having somebody with me. You need to be able to be comfortable by yourself.
    I don't want to be alone forever, but I want to know that I can be alone and be ok.
    Once you know that you can be just fine being single, then you'll be ready to find someone who is "right" not just "there".

    Answer by Laila-May at 5:55 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • OP HERE: Yes, he isn't just here though--he is a stay-at home-step father type person, he cooks, cleans, takes are of kids while I work, I am not scared of being alone--- I want some one there for the kids they really like him and if I get together with my ex and it doesn't work out they are out of a dad type guy too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • eww...he's 20 yrs older than you!!!! how happy can you be? i was a single mom for a long time! it's not that bad, and you know what? kids are better off without a dad than with a mom whos miserable.

    Answer by daughterofearth at 7:39 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • OP HERE: "eww...he's 20 yrs older than you!!!! " What EWWWWWW?

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • i think you should leave them both alone. then figure out what you truly want in a man. it seems like you don't choose the best kind of man so maybe you should rethink what you want in a man.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:56 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

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