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Don't I have a right to be mad?

So my So works days.... gets gome about 7 pm.... By then I have dinner done, my son ready for bed, etc(he is 1 btw).... I work nights, until about 4 am.... then get up with my son at 6 to 7 am.... but he wants to say I'm lazy because I haven't done the dishes in the last couple days.... but he can't do them?!?!?! He won't even clean his plate of, he just throws it in the sink .... we have no dishwasher btw... As I see it he gets 8 hrs of sleep a night so I think he should help me more, I'm not his mom, if he want's to be treated like a baby he can go to her

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:49 PM on Jun. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • You do have a right to be mad. He needs to pull his own weight. You should both be able to get similar amounts of sleep, and the chores should be about equally divided. Sit with him and write down on a piece of paper in two columns what each of you do. This way you'll both be able to see if the chores are or aren't fairly divided. Regardless, though, cleaning up after yourself after a meal should be a personal chore not something that someone else should have to do.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 6:53 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • You have a right to be mad. You both work. You both help with the house work. JMO.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:53 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • Do you have the right to be mad...nope! You have the right to change the situation. You have the right to accept him for who he is and all his flaws, and you have the right to do only what you will. Do you do dishes to please him, or b/c they need to get cleaned? If you are not happy with the situation, then maybe you should evaluate why. I'll bet if you start to do the dishes w/ the satisfaction that it is YOUR accomplishment, you wont waste any more energy on negative emotion.

    sugahmamma

    Answer by sugahmamma at 6:57 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I would be angry if I were called lazy in this situation. I would also point out to him that his namecalling will not change the fact that I"m tired and need his help. I would let him know he is being a bully, and also that if the dishes bother him than instead of calling me names the solution would be for him to wash them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:04 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • i would be angry that he called me lazy- and I would be leaving his dishes, his washing and his cooking to him to do - show him what true laziness looks like and he might appreciate you a bit. Step up and don't be a doormat - if you continue to accept his comments then he will continue to make them.
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 7:17 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • You don't have the right to be mad if you have put up with it all this time. Before you moved in with him you should have discussed who was going to do dishes and laundry and clean house and care for the children.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:24 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • i have this problem too!!!! i am 3 mo preo with 2 kids at home ages 11 and 4. i do ALL the cooking all the cleaning, everything. my work day doesnt end at 5 thank you very much, and i am TIRED!!! my oldest is at his grammas so he can finish the year out in the school he started in, but when he's home, i cant even get HIM to do the dishes.,..ok so i dont have apaying job, im a SAHM, i would work if i could! but i was raise she who cooks doesnt do dishes....but i hate having a sink full so i do them anyway, but i certainly dont feel appreciated.
    daughterofearth

    Answer by daughterofearth at 7:27 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS ANSWER:

    Do you have the right to be mad...nope! You have the right to change the situation. You have the right to accept him for who he is and all his flaws, and you have the right to do only what you will. Do you do dishes to please him, or b/c they need to get cleaned? If you are not happy with the situation, then maybe you should evaluate why. I'll bet if you start to do the dishes w/ the satisfaction that it is YOUR accomplishment, you wont waste any more energy on negative emotion

    Very well put!!
    Erica0821

    Answer by Erica0821 at 7:36 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • yes you have a right to be mad. tell him he needs to start helping around the house. tell him you aren't lazy. because you work too.
    xavierlogan09

    Answer by xavierlogan09 at 7:54 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • Parenting is a partnership, as is a marriage and running a household. Why don't you let your hubby know and remind him of the vows that you both took.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:57 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

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