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Why didn't my pediatrician think of this?

My daughter is 5 years old and still pees her pants several times a day. I've talked to her doctor several times and was told she'd eventually stop. Today I was talking with my cousin's girlfriend who said when she was little she had frequent accidents like my DD because her tubes were too small - not sure exactly how it works but she was peeing herself because of a legitimate medical condition that required surgery to correct and said after the procedure she never had an accident again - except the occasional time that she wasn't anywhere near a toilet. Now I feel bad for all the times I put DD in time out when it could be possible that she has no control over this and her father, my ex, is much more strict about it. He yells and makes her stand with her face against the wall for hours when she makes no effort to get to the toilet. Of course I can't prove he does that to the court but I've seen him do it.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:20 PM on Jun. 8, 2010 in Kids' Health

Answers (13)
  • He yells and makes her stand with her face against the wall for hours when she makes no effort to get to the toilet. Of course I can't prove he does that to the court but I've seen him do it. __ Yeah, that's not abuse. You sound like a very bitter ex-wife. Maybe she pees her pants because of her dysfunctional parents.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:22 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • probably because he's never come across it. Sometimes conditions are just that rare that a ped would have never come across it, therefore has no expirience in a diagnosis.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:22 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • You know that punishing your child for having an accident makes it worse, right?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:28 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I had that same problem. I wet the bed every night & dribbled in my panties throughout the day until I was in 4th grade. I'm 45 now, so there were no such thing as pull ups, so my mom would get so mad at me for doing it. I was put in the hospital for tests for 2 weeks & it was found that my urethra was too short and this was the cause of all the wetting. I had some kind of surgical procedure where they snipped something & stretched the tube & I never wet the bed again. My mom still feels guilty for getting mad when it wasn't my fault, but, I don't even think about it now. The best thing to do is have her checked out to determine if this is her problem or not. If not, her bladder & other urinary tract parts may just be immature & she'll have to grow out of it.


    Answer by BlessedMommy64 at 9:32 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • "when she makes no effort to go to the toilet"..... Those key words right there suggest there is more going on then a possible medical condition. If she's not making an effort, or tempting to get to the bathroom then there is more to it then just "small tubes". She should be at least making an effort to get to the bathroom/toilet. As anonymous said making her stand in the corner or facing a wall is not abuse. Personally, I would be disciplining my child as well if she did NOT MAKE AN EFFORT to get herself to the bathroom/toilet. Trying to get yourself to the toilet, making an effort to get to the toilet, and STILL having accident is different then NOT attempting or making and effort to beginning with. As for why hasn't your dr thought of those things? Well perhaps he's never came across it? I don't know. There's a reason they say DR. PRACTICE medicine!

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 9:34 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • I didn't put her in time out for simply having an accident. She went in time out because it seemed like she was just being lazy and too absorbed in her playing to go to the bathroom. My 4 year old peeing her pants three times in a year is an accident, pissing yourself 4 - 6 times in one day is not an accident.

    As for the first post - in what way are both me and my ex dysfunctional. I do believe my ex is emotionally neglectful and abusive but I need definitive proof for the court to listen, they won't listen to the he said she said crap and he's got both my girls so terrified they won't speak to child services about it. And how do I sound like a bitter ex-wife? I'm glad I'm not with him anymore, he's a loser, and I don't see how stating a fact seems bitter. If I ranted about all the ways he "disciplines" our toddler children then it may seem a bit bitter.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:36 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • tell the idiot dad that time out is ONE MINUTE per year of age so that would be FIVE MINUTES TOPS for bad behavior, not for not being able to control her bladder.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • Let me ask you something. Does she poop in the toilet or does she not make the effort then too? Maybe you should ask your pediatrician about it or see if there are any other tests they can run to see if there is something non-voluntary going on. Please don't beat yourself up about this. You're only human and it can be frustrating. Just rule out all other possibilities and try to get to the root of the problem.

    Answer by lowencope at 10:08 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • She has never pooped her pants, she always makes it to the bathroom for that. I'll admit I never thought about she only pees her pants and never accidently poops herself. Thank you for bringing that to my attention. I will make a call to the doctor's office tomorrow and see if I can bring her in after school or if they'd be able to refer me to a urologist without seeing her since they are aware that she's been having these frequent "accidents" for a long time. I made sure tonight that she knew I wasn't angry or upset in any way about her peeing her pants three times this afternoon, I told her I believed her when she said she can't help it and then to ease some of guilt for the times I did get mad at her I cuddled with her until she fell asleep. I'm actually hoping this is a medical condition and can be fixed, I hate seeing her embarrassment and anger at herself when she pees her pants and her cousins are around.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • What your ex does is wrong regardless of what she is done. NO child should ever be forced to stand with their face against the wall for hours. If you've seen him do this then you correct it, because it is child abuse. That is wrong to the fullest extent and should never be allowed.

    On another matter .. Pediatricians are nothing more then an educated guess. Doctors in general are nothing more then an educated guess. All they are are general people who've went through 6-10 years of medical school to tell you what they THINK could be wrong. If you think that it's something worse, then get a second opinion. Someone is bound to hear your worries and get a test done. Never ever stand by one pediatrician if you don't agree, or you think that it could be something more. AGain, they're nothing more then an educated guess.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:39 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

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