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How do I get my almost 4 month old out of bed?

I have never and will not bed share or put my kids bed in my room. DH was off work today so he napped with my 4 month old in our bed, now she won't go back in her crib because they spent the whole day in our bed, and when he comes home for lunch, DH and DD lay in my bed and bond while I'm not home. I am not comfortable with it because I bed shared with my mom and she said she'd never do it again if she could do it over, mostly because I refused to go in my own bed. Should I just put her in her bed and let her cry? I am not opposed to CIO, I just don't want her spoiled.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Jun. 8, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (9)
  • What choices do you have? You say you won't bed share. Your husband could sleep with the baby and you could sleep in another room. CIO is does harm babies and babies have died from CIO. Babies don't like to sleep alone, it's not normal. For all of time mothers have breastfed and slept with their babies.


    Answer by Gailll at 11:50 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • She has slept all night since she was born in her own bed in her own room, that's why it is puzzling. I do breastfeed, but I'm switching to formula when she officially turns 4 months. I've done CIO before, I just didn't know if it was the best situation to do it in. I can try sleeping on the couch tonight, and I especially can't co-sleep because I do take medication, which is 1 of my fears/dislikes about this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • 4 months old is young enough to just put her in her own bed.. maybe just stand in there and try to soothe her until she falls asleep or rock her to sleep then put her in her bed. Trust me, my daughter will be 3 soon and we are just now putting her in her own bed.. and i have to lay with her until she falls asleep. But I wanted her in our bed so its a little different. Good luck!

    Answer by ashleyuc07 at 11:55 PM on Jun. 8, 2010

  • We just tried laying her down and soothing her. I gave her a pacifier and just rubbed her tummy and she was out like a light. Lets hope she stays out!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 AM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • CIO advocates say NOT to do it before six to NINE months, so it's a bit early. And I'm going to be nosy and ask why the four month cutoff? Only because a lot of moms are mistakenly told they MUST wean for X, Y or Z and nothing is further from the truth. Weaning is a pain in the butt when mom leads it, so maybe you can be spared that difficulty.

    There is a great article on on how to transition from the family bed. HOWEVER, he doesn't recommend the method before one year. You can certainly try it.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:30 AM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • You don't want her spoiled. Breastfeeding and sleeping with your baby doesn't spoil them. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for at least 2 years. Babies are supposed to be held and comforted.



    Answer by Gailll at 12:31 AM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • I actually don't like breastfeeding my baby. We are having a HUGE family problem right now, and the growth spurts aren't helping. My doctor diagnosed me with dysphoric milk ejection reflex when I was 3 weeks post partum and I couldn't stand breastfeeding anymore. She gave me several medications to take until we found one that works pretty well, but Sunshine (can't use names for privacy) has been receiving formula sometime during the day since she was about 4 weeks old. I don't want her in my bed, end of story. I'm not an AP mom, I don't listen to the WHO or AAP, I raise my children on how I see fit. I do look at their recommendations, but most of them I do not follow. As for weaning, I'm ready to be done and it's time to be done. I think I'm the only breastfeeding mom who will probably breastfeed once successfully, and never breastfeed any other children. With this family problem, it's best for me to wean.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:32 AM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • Why do you have to take away two bonding opportunities. If you are going to wean, what's the issue with also isolating the baby at night? What does your mom have to do with you and your baby? My mom said a lot of things to, but that's got nothing to do with me. If not in your bed, you can at least put her in your room so that your husband gets to bond , the baby isn't alone, and it will make night feeds easier. Especially with your unique problem, I would think you'd want to compensate by other means of getting cuddle time and holding the baby.

    You can't spoil a baby with love and affection. You can only spoil children with material things.

    Answer by amileegirl at 9:54 AM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • I do many things that my mom did with me because that's how I am comfortable parenting. Every parent should be comfortable with their parenting choices, correct? I am not comfortable with AP, it's not what works for my kids. Hubby DEFINITELY bonds with DD, she's a daddy's girl through and through. Breastfeeding is not bonding for me and neither is co-sleeping. I don't want my children in my room or my bed, it does not work for me. I do compensate for weaning not co-sleeping; My DD and I do many things together: we'll lay on the couch with her bottle or bath time or tummy time, and she especially likes going places with me. She doesn't feed at night and DH can bond with her in other ways. I have my mind made up, she will not be co-sleeping with us again unless it's absolutely necessary, and I'm weaning her off the breast and onto formula.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 AM on Jun. 9, 2010

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