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Is this part of divorce reason? If I divorce because of this, am I stupid?

I think My husband is nice.. that's why everyone says..
He often says 'I love you'.., He working hard.., He says he want make me happy.
But I'm not happy with him. I want husband has same interest, and spend time with me often, and have sex more often! OK, when we have sex, He dosen't care of me.
I think He barely give me caress before intercouse. and you know what? we are been married for 13 years, I never feel the orgasm.. and He neve tryed on.
I think he's really selfish for everthing about our relationship.
Sometime I thinking about divorce with him.
Am I stupid?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on Jun. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • If you aren't happy and don't see that changing, don't think it Could change, then do what you feel you need to do.
    A home w/both parents is good for kids, but if the parents aren't happy, then everyone is better off separated. If you stay for the kids, do you really want them to feel responsible for your unhappiness? Life is too short to stay w/someone who doesn't/can't make you happy.
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 1:32 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • I've gotten divorced long time ago.I thought it would fix all my problems and I would just be happy.I was wrong.I still would have divorced him.He was cheating on me and wouldn't get a job to support our family.but I only had a new set of problems.In time I did become happy again.but that divorce decree isn't a fix all.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 1:32 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • You need to do what is right for you, divorces happen for different reasons just like marriages do.
    psugal

    Answer by psugal at 1:32 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • You can have the best husband in the world but if you are not happy or satisfied, what good does that do you?
    Life is too short to live it in a state of settlement, go for happy !
    older

    Answer by older at 1:33 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • no its not a stupid thing to turn to divorce when a relationship has gone bad or sour. although in this situation i do hope that things get talked over or at least discussed to see if the problem can be resolved before the divorce papers are written up.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 1:35 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • have you even tried couseling? devorce is very serious and shouldn't be taken lightly. however if there is no change then you have to do what you have to do. but JMO if i was married for that long i think i would atleast try before i give up. just saying.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • If you are not happy, then you need to address this to him so you can try to fix it. If "fixing it" doesn't work, then you should think about leaving. But, every marriage deserves a chance, anyone can change if they really want to. You have to give him the chance to make things right with you. If he won't change & you guys cannot compromise, then yes you should leave.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:38 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • You have to tell him how you feel. If after telling him and asking him to be more sensitive to you and your feelings, then maybe you should escalate the conversation to suggest you might leave him for that reason. See how he responds then.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • I went through the 'am I selfish' or 'am I stupid' phase for a LONG time, too. Be honest with him, even if it hurts. I did. I wasn't in love with him and because of all the crap he could have changed but didn't want to make the effort, I decided to make myself happy. I didn't want to decide 20 years later I could have had all that time to myself to not have all the negative stuff to live through anymore.

    We're divorcing now and yes there's ups and downs, but at the end of the day I'm happier now and I know I don't want to be with him so I am glad with my choice. You have to do what is right for you, if there's no way you can fix it. Do something about it.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 3:12 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • My husband used to be like that. I kept talking to him and telling him I need more, different and some tenderness. He still falls back on his old tendancies once in a while--it takes a lot of work to make a relationship work. On both sides.
    There were many times when I would have wanted a divorce. Yeah to tell you the truth the only reason I didn't do it was because I am too lazy.. Here is the truth, it is working on the relationship. It is worth it. You can work it out with him. Start by telliing him in a non threating way. It seems like a lot of work for men to make us fufilled. Sometimes it is. You have to be a willing participant with the man. He can not take the lead and run with it unless you make the effort too.
    I have been married for 25 years and the time is now to put into your marriage and make it work for you and your husband.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 3:15 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

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