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what is wrong with me

okso if you know me i am a big bag of crybaby so some of the things that i tend to over react to but there is one thing that i constantly cry about and cant get it through my thick head about i am a verry big attention hog with my husband when we first started dating it was all about us and our time alone i have allways toold him that and he used to understand but now that the kids are here and we have been together for 9 years things are changing for the past 2 years esspecially he finds diffrent ways to get out of the house or go to another room or just plain old avoid me alltogether i am very clingy and do not know how to get this under control its obvious i am makeing him not want me and i do everything to just get a reaction out of him anything i dont want to think its me but in reality it more than likley is my has anyone gone through this and what do u think i could do to make things better before i lose my husband

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:13 PM on Jun. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • seek professional help! good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • Well I kind of did but my issue was I was different. I would say get a hobby, go for a walk. I'm not trying to sound mean, but everytime you start to feel clingy just remember they need there space to. I mean think about it how smothering it would be if someone was there ALL them time! join a class make your self not reachable. Now I don't mean never talk to him or avoid him completely, but men love the chase, and if your there every day all day what it new? nothing,right. So if you have a hobby you will be gone for that time therefore not in his space. good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • Hmm maybe he needs alone time? He is not out cheating or looking for trouble. He comes home to you? Things change in a relationship. Time changes us our dynamic. The thing is you need to grow up a little bit and mature. I know easier said than done. Deep sigh,, breath in breath out. Take a look at your self if you are really needing your husbands attentions tell him you would like a date night--or a lunch date with him. Spend some time alone talking about your future together. Evaluate where your weakness are and see if you can work on them. Together or alone you need to work on you first then the marriage.
    For some reason or another your husband married you, and he must love you. So talk and don't blame it on him. Good luck.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 3:22 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • I used to be this person. You can PM me if you want, I have no reason to cast any judgement, and would be glad to help you!

    Answer by matobe at 3:23 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • Wow. I'm so sorry. Maybe try counseling? Just you though.


    Answer by thisloveofmine at 3:25 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • It sounds like you need adult interaction. Are you home all day with the kids? If so, you need to find time to do things with other people. Take a class at a local community college or maybe get involved with a charity, or even get a small part-time job if you do not work. As adults we do need time interacting with other adults and it sounds like you are not getting enough of this, and that is why you are clinging to hubby. But try to remember that men need thier space and don't like when women hover. You will find that when you start taking care of your own needs without being desperate for your husband's attention, you will actually get more of it. Good luck and feel free to pm me if you need any more advice.

    Answer by moniquinha at 3:45 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • yea exactlly easier said then done i know what my faults are i know i need to give him space i am mature i am a great mother like this is something that will take me from my kids sometime because i dont want them to see me crying i go into another room i am a fulltime mama and i use that as an excuse for him i am going to be starting school soon i am kind of a big ball of mess because i have gone through a bad depression that i have been dealing with on my own because i dont know i am crazy i guess i just dont like to tell people when something is wrong with me i have gotten better and i know this because i am admitting that this is a big problem i love my family and divorce is NOT in my vocabulary i just have to get ahold of myself thank you girls there i go crying again i need this the bad and the good its all encouragement.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:57 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • Stop being so clingy, that's why he is trying to put some space between you.

    Answer by TarLion at 4:43 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • My SO almost left me over being clingy. I had to stop and figure it out. Turns out I had to get over my insecurities and gain confidence in myself which in turn created some confidence in the relationship. Men tend to be attracted to confidence. If your man has been with you for nine years then you shouldn't even have insecurities. It shows he is there for the long haul bc he wants to be with you. Start there. Show your appreciation for him. Tell him he rocks. Thank him for being "him". I learned to say nice things to SO without expecting anything in return (even attention). That worked better than anything else. He has taught me a lot. You can learn it as well.

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:55 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • i suggest counseling. maybe you should get a hobby to take up some of your time. or make more friends so you won't be so available to be so clingy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:56 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

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