Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why are some people gay? NOT a debate

A close relative of mine is gay and I have had many gay friends. Most of the gay people I have ever known have not had a quality relationship in some way with the parent of the same sex, making me think there must be a correlation. I have always been curious about this, is it environmental, is it biological? If you are gay I would love to know why you are, or why you think you are, and if you had a quality relationship with your mother?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:59 PM on Jun. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I dunno,why are some people left handed? I guess some people are different than the "norm". I think there are some individuals that have brains that are wired differently in regards to certain functions.I have autism.My brain and body is wired differently than others.In the end it really doesn't matter if someone is gay or not. I highly doubt that we become gay because of a relationship with our parents! What are you thinking,Mom was a bitch,I'll show her,I'll have sex with women??! Studies have shown that some gay individuals have the opposite sex brain in regards to response to stimuli.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • OP: Not my point at all. I am just honestly curious as to what makes someone be or choose to be gay. And it is true that many, many gay people I have met have not had a close relationship either physically or emotionally with the parent of the same sex, I am wondering if this is a common thread. Maybe it is biological, maybe chromosomal? My point wasnt at all and "Ill show her thing"!!!!!! Example in point is a gay male friend was abandoned by his father, his mother was a male hater. Another gay male friend's dad lived at home but was always too busy for him. A lesbian friend's mom lived at home but had a mental illness making her emotionally inaccessible. etc etc etc ANON 5:08 You totally missed the point here

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:16 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • I think you're just seeing the fact that this was how THEY grew up to be a factor in them being gay. If a straight person grew up with gay parents who abandoned them,would you say they were straight because of that? Alot of people grow up in messed up families,they're not all gay! Are you the person you are because of how you were treated growing up? I think its biological. I saw a study that showed that the more sequential males a woman has,the higher likelihood that the next one will be gay due to the mom's body feminizing the fetus.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:26 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • OP: OK, Im not seeing anything. Once Again Just curious as to why some people are gay, that's all, is it wrong to be curious???? Maybe I was wrong to state my personal observations, Jeesh!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:38 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • I heard it was a chromosome thing

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:45 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • Of course you're not seeing anything, because you are not receiving validation of your theory. The 3 people that have previously posted have given their opinion that it's not environmentally related at all, that it's biological. No one (unless answers have been deleted) has criticized you for asking your question; they simply don't feel that being gay is related to one's relationship with the same gender parent. I too, think it's biological and has nothing to do with the relationship with either parent. The gay people I know have wonderful relationships with the parents of the same gender (both parents actually).

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 7:00 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • I believe all people are born with certain tendancies due to genetic factors. Like on a scale of 1 to 10 you are limited to being between for example a 3 to 6 in your life with 1 gay and 10 straight. You can be a 3 or 6 towards each trait but never a 7 no matter how hard you try. So maybe if you are born far enough one way you can't flip to the other side but if you are born in the middle you could sway either way. Experiences may contibute somewhat to who we become limited by the scale we are born with. To me it is mostly genetic and some environmental.

    Answer by bjane01 at 7:04 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • Maybe it is the other way around and being gay makes one more open to a close relationship with a parent.

    Answer by bjane01 at 7:08 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • OP: Wow, so no one thinks it's environmental? I'm not criticizing, just surprised. Honestly, how can it be that so many gay people I have met personally have had some sort of negative relationship with the parent of the same sex - Im not saying it's always because of this, just sayin. I want to hear from some gay people.....

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:24 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • I think what we are sexually,sensually has to do with our genetics. Why are you straight? Do you feel you are because of your relationship with your parents? Most straight people say they were straight from birth,so gays can claim the same don't you think?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.