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why is that?

Everytime a mom asks on here for advice on how to put their newborns down without them screaming the whole time they get told to just hold their babies and enjoy it? I've seen this question so many times and the responses always make me mad. It's not like htey're saying I don't want to hold my child or anything. They're asking, how can I make it so that I can put my newborn down for 10 min so I can use the bathroom or start dinner?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:01 PM on Jun. 9, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • i try to offer suggestions according to what usually worked for mine. she was clingy and it can make life hard to always have a baby in your arms or on your hip.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 9:03 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • The reason I would tell you that is because I have three kids 19,18 &17. I have no options but to let go. I can not hold my kids any more. I am enjoying the adult behavior but I would hold them again any day of the week. So that is why I say hold them and enjoy what you have.
    I however did use a swing so I could sleep at night--as my 3rd kid never slept. I mean she did sleep when she was 5!

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 9:04 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • I agree with you. I adore my month old son, but he wants nothing but to be held all the time. And while I do love holding him, and I cherish every second I can, I have another child and a husband that I love being with and haven't been able to be intimate with for 5 weeks now! Plus I'm going to go back to work and this child needs to be able to be ok with daddy being the one holding him. I haven't asked for advice on here because I'm doing ok with what we're trying, but I also know that people would bash me. It kills me to hear him cry, but babies do have to cry sometimes. It is not going to kill him to realize there are other fun things to do if I lay him on one of his playmats. Women on this site are brutal, sorry ladies, we're all in this together, but some of you are just plain mean

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • I hear ya hon! It would be nice to go to the bathroom alone or actually take a shower once in awhile! my son was like this the 1st 3 months of his life. The very second i was out of sight,he'd howl! Finally i just said enough and put him in his bouncy. He cried for awhile,but then he saw I was coming back,and shut it right off. The next time he cried less,and eventually he figured it out.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:13 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • I get p.o.'d about those responses, too, because I find them patronizing. If the respondent is feeling particularly mean, she'll add something like, "if you didn't want to take care of a baby, why did you have one." As though a mother has no right whatsoever to yearn for a MOMENT of independence. Usually to take care of something for the common good, am I right? (cook, clean, go to the bathroom -- none of us want mommy to pee herself). I had a colicky first baby and thought I was going to die of it. I loved her so strongly but I could NOT handle bouncing her constantly (and, believe it or not, plenty of babies object to be worn in slings and wraps, my first daughter taught me that).

    Answer by EmilySusan at 10:11 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • Yeah I am sorry for the crappy responses I dont know why people can be mean to someone who is seeking help. My daughter is clingy too. When my daughter was a newborn I put her in the bassinet to sleep and would try to use the restroom or shower when she was sleeping. I would bring her bassinet into the bathroom with me. My daughter is 10 months old, and my husband is in the army, and we live away from family. Sometimes my husband is gone for a weekor two, I will still put her in her highchair or walker and bring her in the bathroom. Now as for when they start walking I dont know, if have not gotten that far yet, but that seems like it is going to be interesting. Good luck.

    Answer by Sillybillymel at 11:41 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • My two daughter both had colic for a while and I learned to do almost everything while holding them including cooking and loading the dishwasher,etc. REALLY! But when the colic went away, they were both suddenly the most cheerful babies ever. I think it was when they were about 3 months old. In the meantime, it is a tough job dealing with a screamimg baby but it doesn't last forever, They suddenly just become adorable and stop screaming. Trust me. I'm sure it is just colic.

    Answer by gertie41 at 12:11 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

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