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Potty Training a Stubborn Boy?

My oldest boy, Tristan, has proven to be a stubborn potty trainer. How so? Well, about 6 months ago or so, I brought his potty out into the living room-just so he'd see it all the time. He went in it sooooo well...for a month. Then he was done with it. I figured it was because of his new brother, but he showed no signs of jealousy.

He knows how to pee in the big potty, standing up. He can hold in his pee-I know this because, right out of the bath, he started to pee on the carpet, but I scolded him, he stopped and walked over to the potty to finish. He notices when he pees in his diaper, because he acts worried about it when it's a fresh diaper.

Should I just start getting him to go, or keep waiting? Because I'm really not seeing when this kid will finally decide to stop wearing diapers!

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Asked by dazzychica at 9:02 PM on Jun. 9, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Have you tried just putting him in big boy underpants and see if it helps. He may not like the feel of being wet and it running down his legs. The clean up isn't as pleasant but it might be worth it in the end. The thing about potty training is this is basically the only thing he has total control over. He's going to have to do it on his own. Keep trying. Two steps forward, one step back.

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 9:06 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • I had an extremely resistant DS myself... he was 3 and 9 months and still we weren't making much progress and I tried EVERYTHING!!! I reallymean everything that I could! So I told him one day that I'd give him a quarter for each time he peed in the potty and he was dry, and he had to give me a quarter if I found he was wet!! Well, he only had to give up two quarters to figure out he like getting paid vs paying out!! (And we weren't spending any more then were were when we did the sticker chart and giving him a prize once he filled it up.) So, after 3 days of being dry I put him in underwear and haven't looked back!! That was 2 weeks ago!!! I am liberated!!! ;o) Good luck Mom... everyone kept telling me he wouldn't go to kindergarten in diapers... they were right!!! LOL


    Answer by Morgain at 9:14 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • That's the problem with waiting for a kid "decide to stop wearing diapers." Why would he stop using a diaper if it's on him? That is what they're for. Everyone so obsessed with not "pushing" but I personally don't think your child is any more stubborn than the average, his reaction is normal. You haven't conveyed to him that he needs to use the potty. Just that you think it would be a nice idea, maybe, whenever-he-gets-around-it (but no pressure). Of course he won't go to kindergarten in diapers... because he won't be allowed to go!!! Be loving and supportive about it, but there should no longer be a choice. Bye-bye diapers.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • my ds is 3 I thought for a while this potty training thing was NEVER going to happen but try this he's been 100% pee and poop trained now since September-- and about 80% night time trained since March
    First of all get out a few cups-- a red one a blue one and a green one leave them in the bathroom and everytime you take him in offer the choice of where he wants to Pee
    ok so here was my schedule with my Son -- he wakes at 7ish and goes to bed at 8 ish--- as soon as he rustled in bed in the morning he was walked to the potty and he had to sit on it for 3 minutes EVEN IF NOTHING HAPPENED and he got lots of praise for sitting and I accompanied him the entire 3 minutes we read a book we'd sing a song whatever- then at 9am, 12 noon, shortly after waking from his afternoon nap (3pmish) 6pm and 8pm he was made to sit on the potty it is NOT PUNISHMENT it is complete 1:1 time reading singing praising-- and it is what we did

    Answer by MELRN at 9:27 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • each time is 3 minutes NO MATTER WHAT even if he peed in the cup he still had to sit for 3 minutes on the potty --unbelievably after a week he had very few day time accidents--and after 2 months I did not have to sit with him or ask him to go he just went and praise God it's well now

    Answer by MELRN at 9:29 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • Of course he won't go to kindergarten in diapers... because he won't be allowed to go!!! - Actually he would!! There are pullups and other products for incontinence that can easily be worn under the clothing so going to Kindergarten wouldn't be a problem for any child. Not all methods work for all kids. We are also raising kids to have mind of their own, so that is a good thing as well.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • Well, they won't change his pull-up in kindergarten and so if you want him to sit in poop all day...
    My children have minds of their own, too. That doesn't mean they have complete say over every aspect of their lives. Do your kids set the menu every day? Do they decide when it's time for bed? Do they have the option to eat with their hands instead of utensils for messy foods, are they allowed to have candy before dinner? For some reason, everyone has decided that potty training is 100% kids choice unlike all these other things that we help our kids to master and even require them to learn. It's called socialization. And a developmentally normal 3.5-4 year old child whose parents are still waiting for him to "choose" the potty is being done an enormous disservice.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • Regression is normal with a new sibling. But I agree, lose the diapers. I'd change your tone a bit, too... you can still make it fun, but present it as something he is going to do from now on. You can make an event out of "throwing away" the diapers (you can retrieve them later for little sis). If he did it for a month, he can do it again. Clean-up won't be fun with a new baby around, but it won't last forever. Especially if you DON'T LOOK BACK!!! Good luck!!

    Answer by EmilySusan at 10:38 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • I'd get rid of the diapers and go to regular underwear. He clearly gets the concept so it's time to move it along. As long as he thinks he can wait for a diaper, that's what he's going to do. My son didn't start training until 3 and that's what we did. We've been working on it for about a month and he still has the occaisional accident but it caught on quickly once he no longer had a diaper option.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

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