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I'm in love with a Soldier and very confused

I am in the middle of a divorce. He is in the middle of a divorce. We went to church together when we were kids. We ended up going to Middle and High School together. I moved acrossed country. He joined the Army. Needless to say it has been 8 years since we were in the same building together. He's been married about 3 years now. I been married not even a year. We found each other talking about our lives and it comes out we are in the similar boat together. His wife cheated on him. My husband cheated on me. He has told me he would like to come to me on his visitation time instead of going home. He has told me he is in love with me and wants to be with me. I am head over heels for this guy. I've all my life had a thing for him but moved before we could make anything of it. I feel as if we are suppose to in the spot right now to give each other the strength we need to get us threw what we are facing. Should I let him come to me?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:44 PM on Jun. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • He's in love with you but you haven't seen each other for 8 years...seems really fast...Hope he isn't just out for some 'strange' on his wife since he is still married.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:46 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • OP: His entire family (including her) knows when his visitation is. And he asked me if he can spend it with me. I'm excited and I think it is thoughtful. I have always be then the one to go to the guy so I'm confused if I should let him or not. I just don't want my ex husband to find out about it and a wall about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • I say go for it. Military relationships do tend to go fast. I would just see how it goes. :) My husband is in the army, and I can tell you being apart brings us together, because we communicate so much and bond even more. Good luck.
    Sillybillymel

    Answer by Sillybillymel at 11:16 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • Let him visit, but be careful! Divorce is a hard, painful thing and it's really, really easy to get lost in feelings that aren't 'real'. As long as your head is clear, no harm can come of it.

    I met my husband in the middle of my divorce...and I've never been happier. These things CAN be real, but the reality is they can also be a product of our hurt. Be 100% of what you're feeling, and as long as you feel good about it explore it.
    desert_diva

    Answer by desert_diva at 11:23 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • If she finds out she can get more money in the divorce. Do NOT let her know he is seeing you. The Army will punish him and she will take him for everything. Tell him to get his divorce THEN come see you. Not being mean but my dd went through this and it did NOT go over well. He lost everything including his children over her finding out he was even TALKING to another woman.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • do what makes u happy! but if you are both married its not right you both should be single before u meet
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • OP: Here. We plan on visiting each other. We don't plan to jump in the sack together. She knows when his leave is, she does know he'snot going to see her, she doesn't know what state he is going to, he has family in different states. His STBX wife writes him e-mails leaves messages and yells at him telling him she wishes he blows up there. She physically beats him, him being army guy he won't touch her back. We have known each other for a greater part of each others lives. I just find it SAFE to have a friend I know going threw a similiar marriage situation to have to talk about it with. My mother knows his family and he knows mine. It isn't like we are going off to alope as soon as the judge hammers~ divorce final. I haven't loved my STBX in over 7 months now. He has been with his STBX for 3 years and she runs out on him every time he is in training or deployed. Why should either of us live in a lovelss marriage & not be happ
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

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