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Being a SAHM and being married and how that isnt the norm

I dated my husband for a couple years, and then we got married and eventually had our daughter. I am 23. I am almost finished with college, and I am a SAHM. Why do people look at you like you are crazy because you are married and have a kid? And like because I am a young mom apparently I am supposed to be uneducated? WTH? I love my husband and my daughter and I am so thankful to have a supportive husband and a healthy baby. I just feel bad that two people getting married and raising a baby together anymore is not the norm. Kids need two parents. Moms need that support from their husband. I feel for the single mothers, I cannot even comprehend how hard it is to parent and support a household alone. It just makes me sad, alot of people we have known are divorced or never married and have kids. Not having that stability must be so hard.

 
Sillybillymel

Asked by Sillybillymel at 12:00 AM on Jun. 10, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 10 (394 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I have 4 kids by the same man, who is my husband... so I'm not a single mother. Also I really was confused on this question, cause I couldn't tell which way she was going with it.Thankfully she was nice enough to clarify without taking offense to my question about hers.


    soonmommy, I dont think anyone would gloat like that, but we may have it "good" as you out it, but people are snotty, and like with me, I have #5 on the way and people say Im nuts, it is rude, and maybe you are sensitive about being a singlr mom, like I am about having so many and she is about being a SAHM

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 5:51 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • ok, I am a bit confused on your question. Are you gloating to singles moms that you have it so good? OR are you trying to be sympatheticto how hard it is for them? Also, since your a young mom, do people just flat out ask you if your educated? cuz, I'm wondering how you would know that, unless they asked you or said something along those lines. From my experience I never got that from people, but then again I look like I could kick butt at any moment. I don't always have the nicest looks on me face. Mainly do to my thinking about things.

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 12:06 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • eh, when i was still married, i took my daughter to get evaluated for speech therapy... i had my other daughter with me too, and they were in a double stroller. they're 22 months apart. the lady actually had the nerve to say, "you do know how you get pregnant, right? and you're going to avoid this next time, riiiight?" uh, no, woman... i am married and i have 2 kids. there is NOTHING wrong with it.
    gracefulsky

    Answer by gracefulsky at 12:14 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • Sorry I was commenting on the state of our society. But I def. am sympathetic to single moms. Gloating about being married? Why would someone gloat about that? I have had people ask me like when are you planning on going back to work? Or when are you going to go to college? Hmm... I am taking care of my baby I am not going back to work for a while, it isnt even on the table right now... and college? I am finishing up... I have been waiting for a class to open up so I can finish. Idk. Like how when I was at the hospital delivering the nurse assumed I wasnt married, even though my husband was with me the whole time and we both were wearing our rings... Its almost like if you are young and married or have a child you arent as educated. You can tell when people speak to you how they feel, intuitively.
    Sillybillymel

    Answer by Sillybillymel at 12:29 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • well hmm. I am 23, educated, and married to the father of my son and a SAHM (though not in that order) and I don't get that at all. Must just be you?
    People just treat me like a regular Mom and were referring to my husband as my husband long before we were married.
    I guess where I am from, that is the norm. My son was born 2 years before we were married and we were together 3 before we got pregnant. People were surprised we weren't married when we were pregnant and more surprised that we didn't hurry up and get married once he was born.
    I see nothing wrong with either way. Get off your high horse.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • I am educated. I was married before I became pregnant with my dd. I am a SAHM. I am also not that old, 25. I don't think that this situation is all that uncommon, especially right now in our economy and in the military. With the job market like it is here it is just not the logical choice to spend an entire paycheck on daycare when I can be home with my dd instead and have no difference in our income. Between daycare and gas to get to the jobs that are available my paycheck would be gone. I have met so many families that are in this situation. It's all about what is best for the family.
    rhianna1708

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 2:00 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • I don't think people look at you like you're crazy for being married and having a kid... I think they look at you like you're crazy because you're 23 and married with a kid. I know my friends would have thought I was crazy if I got married and had DD by 23 lol. I think 23 is a bit young personally but w/e. Obviously it's better than 18 and single with a kid. I finished college THEN got married and THEN had a kid. Married at 23.5 had DD at 26. And I feel like that was pretty young.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • I kinda know what you mean. I have never gotten crap about being a sahm but when I was pregnant with our third and fourth child (twins) we got the "you know how babies are made right?" and the "are you trying to repopulate the earth?" there was another girl who was pregnant and it was her Husbands third child (her first) they got congratulated and so on. I was penalized for having kids with the same person whereas my friends Husband never got a snide comment and it was because his first two kids were with another woman so I guess they didn't count. It infuriated me and actually really kind of hurt.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:28 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • I agree! I would never work with my children being young, just because i want them to have a sence of stability! But I am intelligent! I have four and one on the way, and am 24! I hope that these women warriors get off their high horse and realize that staying home with your kids is a good thing!
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 9:13 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • soonmommy, I dont think anyone would gloat like that, but we may have it "good" as you out it, but people are snotty, and like with me, I have #5 on the way and people say Im nuts, it is rude, and maybe you are sensitive about being a singlr mom, like I am about having so many and she is about being a SAHM
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 9:15 AM on Jun. 10, 2010