Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

family drama, what to do?

I've been married for 5 years. Together we have sons who are 10mos & 3 yrs and he has a daughter from his 1st marriage who will be 10 when school starts in the Fall. .... My husbands former wife also remarried and experienced secondary infertility. The opted to skip IVF and all that and just adopt. The adoption was finalized around the Holidays and that girl is a year to the day younger than my stepdaughter. Soooo it's Summer. She spends Summer w/ her daddy and me (and obviously her half brothers) we're being begged, pretty much, to take the new adopted girl as well... at least for a small portion of the Summer and not necessarily for anything "expensive". (we had a trip to Lake Michigan planned) Apparently the girls are terribly bonded and starting school in the middle of the year was tough for her, etc. We met her once for about 3 hours but other than that are strangers. Thoughts?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:57 AM on Jun. 10, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • In my opinion , i think if they live near by you should just take her once in awhile. like do sleepovers or maybe weekends.
    Lobelia

    Answer by Lobelia at 3:04 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • So what is the reason that you are feeling pressured in to taking this other child? Is it because your step-daughter wants this girl to come and spend time with her over the summer at you all house? I think that is a little weird for you all to allow this child to come and spend some time with you all. You don't know this child as you said and she doesn't know you all. How is the relationship between you and the ex-wife? I have to say I have a great relationship with my hubby's ex-wife, Her and I talk more then them two do not cause they have a good relationship just cause we have things that her and I speak about other then just the kids. I find this situation that your faced with a little odd. I could understand If you all new one another but you may really want to maybe take this child for like a weekend and see how it all goes then go from there.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:06 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • if its about the adopeted child, she is just a child, love her like anyother child, maybe i didnt understand what you wrote but thats what i got out of it, just love her, you are lucky to blessed with so many children in your life!!!!! kids are super awesome!!!!
    emleejanedom

    Answer by emleejanedom at 4:15 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • I would say take her as a babysitting and have them pay you.. that may should mean, but I have a stepdaughter and she has two brothers, those boys are not my husbands children nor my stepchildren so why would i take them for a summer. Maybe a day or two to be nice, but that is it. Would she babysit your children for the summer?
    plus your husband pays child support to the mother for his daughter right? so he takes her for the summer and this girl, the ex wife gets a lot off her hands for free and get child support for those three months. of course they are bonded they are sister.. If you start this now the new little girl will always have to be included. I think it is better for her to know that sissy has a different dad and that is how some families are..I believe she will hurt less when she is older. what if she wants to stay every summer.. then what.? plus ask hubby... i think its going to make things harder for everyone
    TaiM

    Answer by TaiM at 7:05 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • also i agree sleep overs once in a while, but it all depends on your relationship with the ex. if she is a good woman and you all get along then i would be fine, I still think she should at least give some money because feeding another mouth for the summer gets expensive. I am not saying its about the money. I think she may be taking advantage of having a free babysitter, I would hope not, but some people are like that..
    TaiM

    Answer by TaiM at 7:09 AM on Jun. 10, 2010