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did I make a mistake?

I left my husband of 6 yrs. My reasons, he hasnt loved me that past 4 yrs. I get degraded, unapprecited negativity from him, and all the works. But I still love him. For the last 2 months of our relationship, he has been working on things with me. He says that he is trying to love me again and that he had something to build on, unlike before. But i couldnt take it anymore, i was fed up with all his pushing away, and I felt very unwanted from him. So I moved to another city. It has been 3 weeks, and today I broke, and I feel like I made a mistake. I feel as though something is missing in my life, I feel very empty, and want him there beside me. I feel as though my life cant go on with out him. What should I do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:19 AM on Jun. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Well, if you are tired of being treated that way, I say give it more time. The feelings of being alone, isolated, needed, missing something, will eventually go away. It's more of the fact that the reality has now set in. Be tough, though, this is the time where most people cave in. If you really want it this way, you have to stand for what you want.

    Answer by m-avi at 8:24 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • You did not make a mistake. You just need love like every human does, that is what you are missing, that is why you feel hollow. But, did you not feel that way when your husband was treating you like shit? You did the right thing. No one ever said leaving a shitty marriage is not painful. You did the right thing. there is a good chance this guy would not change anyway. Leaving lets him know he was a jerk. Let him PROVE to you that he is a different man, because if you go back now, you'll just be telling him that you will still let him treat you like crap because you cannot live without him. Let him know that you CAN live without him. It will be a lot easier for him to change if you show him that you won't allow him to treat you like crap. If you go back now, you're saying he is aloud to treat you like crap. Teach him a lesson & let him know that he cannot disrespect his wife. You deserve respect & friendship.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:28 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • Let him go so he can find happiness as well as you. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:31 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • Then go home and work things out. There is nothing wrong with taking a break, identifying problems and now you both can work on fixing things.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:49 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • I'd say give it a little time, so you can grow within yourself some, BEFORE you go back.Other wise this may have all been in vein for nothing.It has happened & I think we are all worth finding out what we want.I did this some time ago, If I hadn't I might be very unhappy still, but I;m not because I took a estand for my life.It's never easy to try something that feels so unknown but it's the beauty in that growth that makes it all worth it.u take care and find things out about you for a while.~HUGS.

    Answer by Stefono at 8:54 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • Feel what your feeling and grieve for it find yourself a therapist talk out any feelings what you have. Decide where you see yourself in five years and start setting up a plan for yourself. Its hard but if you know what you want to get from your experience. Its hard but maybe you will get some perspective on what it is you want and what you need. GL Momma


    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:04 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • What you are experiencing now is what I like to call "beaten dog syndrome" know how he treats you is not right but at least when he is treating you like that, you are getting attention. Give it some time. If he really wants to get back together, he will work his ass off to make sure that you feel loved the RIGHT WAY. like some of the PP say, if you go back now, you are sending the message that he really didn't have to try to get you back so it's ok to go back to treating you like crap.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:15 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • nope you didn't make a mistake. Sounds like maybe your a little lonely. You have only been gone for three weeks and thats not alot of time give you new life a chance. You been without him for six years why go back after all that time, especially to someone who has to force himself to love you. I think you should find you a nice man that loves you just because you are you.

    Answer by symle456 at 10:08 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • oh sorry I didn't read that right but still don't go back to someone who treats you like crap and doesn't love you

    Answer by symle456 at 10:10 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • I agree with the first two responses. It's natural to feel this way. I wanted the divorce and started to feel lonliness after but I'm 110% sure I am not in love with him and I'm doing what's right for me and for my son because he has treated him better since. Remember your reasons when you feel crappy and realize that if the issues weren't resolving before, they won't now. He will have work to do to prove to you that it will change and that doesn't happen in a 3 week window.

    Put yourself first - joing a group, find some new friends to pass the time and fill you up emotionally so you're not dwelling on feeling alone and it WILL get better. Hang in there, mama. Best wishes.

    Answer by rio_burb at 11:29 AM on Jun. 10, 2010

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