Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Am I wrong for feeling this way....

My sister is wanting us to go to the beach for July 4th. I have a 4 year old and she has a 6 month old and my parents would go. My brother-in-law is weird & we have had some issues in the past( the way he treats my sister, he has said things about my kid & husband). When we are all together, he doesn't say much & when we are all laughing & having a good time, he just looks at us like we are crazy!My mom says when my husband & I aren't around he acts totally different. I don't think he likes my husband either, my husband is always joking & is usually the center of attention. So when my mom asked me about the beach, I just said that I didn't want to go with my brother-in-law. I want to go opn vacation & be comfortable & be myself! But I know it isn't fair to my sister! And now my mom is upset because of what I said! Am I wrong?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:47 PM on Jun. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • know how you guys feel around him and there's nothing wrong with that. Have you ever tried talking to him, or having your hubby talk to him?
    I would think your mom would respect your feelings as she said herself she's noticed he act totally different when you guys aren't
    IMO....I wouldn't go either.

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 12:50 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • If you are not comfortable then dont go! Why be unhappy to make others happy?

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 12:50 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • you don't havce to go if you don't want to. Its not a matter of being right or wrong. But honestly I have gone many places even though there may be someone that is very difficult to be around for the sake of my friends and family. but thats a choice you need to make, its not right or wrong either way.

    Answer by Precious333 at 12:51 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • You have to do what is best for your individual family.I'd maybe not tell them the complete truth about why you don't want to next time.Just tell them you don't have the money for it and don't let them pay for it.

    Answer by evelynwest at 12:55 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • Give your brother in law another chance, he will laways be there, you cannot just avoid him. If he wans to be a drag because your husband is the center of attention, then let him be a drag. You never know, he may cone around. Have you ever talked to your sister about this? What did he say about y'all??

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:58 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • You can't be wrong for having your feelings. Talk with your dh and see what he says. Since it's dh he's jealous of maybe he has some insight on what to do to take the vacation and keep peace within the family

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:59 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • wow, sorry for my typos, sometimes i think i can type fast...LOL!

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:00 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • I have a sister-n-law like that. She doesn't care for me and makes my life a mess. I still invite her to my home and we go up and see her and her mother. She is my family and even though she makes my skin crawl with the things she does that will never change. When your sister has kids are you not going to let the kids play together because your Brother-n-law is strange? I understand, truly I do. There is no hiding the fact that my Sister-N-Law hates me for no reason I have given her, but she is my husbands sister and so my family and as long as we are family I will continue to be nice to her and make her part of my family.

    Answer by Savymom25 at 1:00 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • I can understand both sides of it. If you want to put yourself in your moms shoes, just imagine that you have 2 adult children and grandbabies and want to share a family vacation with them. Can you imagine how much you would want to spend time with your kids? Okay, now imagine that one doesn't want to participate because they're unable to get along with the other ones husband. How would you feel?
    I don't know if you're wrong or right. But I do know that it's your mom who is hurting over this, not your BIL. Actually, you could even be making your BIL's day.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:00 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • : D I like your answer anon. I think that is why I will not give up because that would mean she would be the winner and I would just be the loser who couldn't take it....bring it on baby!!! ha ha : )

    Answer by Savymom25 at 1:24 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.