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needing advice

Not sure where to post this. I'm struggling lately, I have always had this wierd thing with my siter in law. She annoys me a tad but i try my best to smile and be nice always. However, i some how keep comparing my life to hers. I know its unhealthy and ungodly. I'm a practicing christian and have prayed many times about it but this feeling is almost uncontrollable. When i think about it i just feel sick to my stomach and depressed. I don't want it to be this way. I was pregnant young and got married to my babies daddy young too. We are doing well but still have our struggles. It seems like everything is perfect for her. Her husband and her never fight, they just got pregnant and he is SUPER excited, they both have great jobs... I know i have many things to be thankful for too but i just can't shake this feeling its tearing me up inside :(:( Any advice, help or advice?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Jun. 10, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (10)
  • I know one thing is true, you can never know how another persons life truly is. What I mean by that is, they may have it harder than you see from the outside. Some people hide problems, some people put on a good face in front of others.

    Also, whos to say that life will continue on the same path...you never know what the future may hold. (I AM NOT WISHING BAD THINGS ON THEM) but who knows, they may loose their job, start fighting, get sick.....or vice versa!

    you just have to enjoy your life and quit looking over at other peoples greener grass. I like the saying "the grass is always greenest over the septic tank" :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • I agree with the first poster. There could be things in their lives you don't know about. I used to be envious of a friend of mine and everything seemed so great and perfect in their house. And she was so great and had qualities I wished I had. They were even "better" christians, i thought. Well, i found out down the road that they had some of the same struggles as we did in our house AND the husband ended up being diagnosed with stage 3 melanoma.
    Just keep praying that God will help you through it.
    SoniaL

    Answer by SoniaL at 1:54 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • The joy of other should not cause you envy which is what you feel for sil, obviously you are not happy maybe you should work on that so you won't have to be comparing your life to others.
    older

    Answer by older at 1:54 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • You are judging her, and it is not your place. Be grateful for what you have. You can take all your cares to Yahweh in prayer, and he will help your life be better according to his plan. I find that through every struggle we learn a valuable lesson. Perhaps your is that you are too busy judging others instead of doing what you are supposed to be doing?We are all guilty of that once in a while, just do not give up! Blessings..
    Daphna28

    Answer by Daphna28 at 1:58 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • Now's the time you need pray for yourself. Pray that God takes away your despair. The evil one works on all of us with doubts and envy whispering in our ears. Prayers for you Dear.
    oldermomof5

    Answer by oldermomof5 at 2:02 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • You really need to see a therapist; maybe that is the answer to your prayers.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:55 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • You have NO clue what goes on in their house,yet your jealous,envois, and ungreatful,nosy person,who should worry about your own life-not of another. I had a SIL just like you- just couldn't do,keep up,and wasn't just grateful for her own family, and that pit in your stomach is called KARMA.. Bad KARMA on your part for jealous,and envy of another. There will be plenty of people BETTER then you- and plenty of poeple your BETTER then..so stop worring about them, you have your own life to look at,and make better,I bet you have alot of time on your hands-to worry about someone else and how they live-Karma- thats why you will never be equal-she will always overcome you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • I think it might help you to make a list of everything you have to be thankful for. Put it somewhere so that you can see it often, maybe in the corner of your bathroom mirror. Whenever your thoughts turn to something you don't have or something you wish were like hers, remind yourself of those wonderful gifts that you do have. Those things that you can change or work towards that you would like but don't yet have, set some small goals that will lead you in the direction of having some of those things. If you want say a new piece of furniture, put away a few dollars each week toward that item. Everyone has problems, but some of us are much better at pretending we don't have any, and there could be a little of that going on with your sister-in-law. If you have a good Bible concordance, look up Scriptures that have to do with jealousy and envy. Those will help you a great deal. Half the battle is recognizing the problem!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:18 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • Fist of all it's your sil you should be happy they are happy and getting along. Second don't compare I understand sometimes that might be a little hard. but it's best not to do. You both just have two different kinds of happy life. thats all. Just remember her's is not better, hers is different. So let her be happy with her family and you be happy with your family.thats all.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 9:16 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • What you SEE is not always what IS. Not all people put their misery out on display, even around family members. You have a life that is the right one for you and that is a result of the choices that you made. The future is always in motion and you never know what you're going to get. Finding happiness in the things that you DO have will make that future a good deal smoother.
    witchqueen

    Answer by witchqueen at 4:26 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

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