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How would you handle a mother inlaw like this?

She shows favortism with certain grandchildren. She has 7 grandchildren, 3 of which are mine. My youngest she says is her favorite and my daughter is her favorite grandaughter, she only has 2 and she has told her other grandaughter that my daughter is her favorite. My oldest, which is also her oldest grandchild is graduating from highschool. She booked a trip on his graduation day and told him that she won't be going to his graduation because she doesn't want too. I feel so angry at her for this and I also feel really bad for my son. I'm really good to her, which she says I'm her favorite daughter inlaw (out of 3). I just feel like I don't want to do anything nice for her anymore.

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Asked by staceynoel at 2:19 PM on Jun. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (852 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • If you don't make a big deal out of it then it will minimize your children's pain. If they hear you talking about how awful grandma is then they are going to either think for the first time that grandma is unfair to them or have their ideas bolstered. You can take the attitude that grandma is just the way she is and never have no reaction about what she does one way or another. So what if she comes to graduation, one way or the other.

    You can't control what she does but you can control what you do. Not being nice to her isn't the right thing to do and sets a bad example for your kids. You don't have to try and be her best friend but you should be nice.



    Answer by Gailll at 2:29 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • I do have one like that.. She only has two kids and 3 (going on 4) grandchildren. I tell her that if she can not treat my child equally like say when it comes to who visits that he won't visit at all i don't care if he is the fav. or the another is the fav. I want them to be treated equally and if she can't do that then she won't see him at all.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:31 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • Your MIL is honest and you get pissed? I won't go to any of my grandsons' graduations either bc I don't want to. I hate crowds and they are long and boring. I can't believe you are being so petty. Let it go. Don't be nice if you don't want to be nice but that's childish.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:26 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • anon, so it's ok to tell certain grandchildren, that "you are my favorite" in front of the others. As for not going to your grandchildrens graduation because you don't feel like it, is just plain selfish. I'm sure my mother inlaw will be at my daughters and my youngest son graduations. You sound like a real jerk.

    Answer by staceynoel at 3:42 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • her loss of that special event...Is the oldest grandchild her grandchild by blood if not there you go. Maybe she doesn't like going to graduations. hope things work out just let it go your son should be the one taking it personal but I know as a mom you feel it too. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:42 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • So I'm gonna give anon 3:36 a bad grandma award! A grandchilds graduation isn't about you and YOUR comfort. It's your grandchilds day and its important to them. Shame on you for being selfish and not supporting your grandbabies in their accomplishments.

    I would have a talk to your MIL about talking about favorites. She can have favorites or what not but she should not treat them differently. Tell her how you feel and what you expect.

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 6:57 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • you know what if she doesnt want to go then she doesnt go but you go and you make sure you let you baby know that you love him/her and thats all that baby needs dont wory about grandma thats her loss stop worrying and make this a really good fun day and be proud mama!

    Answer by DEDESBABIES at 3:18 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

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