Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why do so many women insist that the man is the one to "get fixed?"

I realize that a tubal ligation is a bigger procedure but you are asking men to permanently rear themselves infertile.

If a women is willing to get a tubal herself I understand her asking her partner if he would be willing but how can a women who refuses to have a tubal expect her husband to have a vasectomy.

The reason I ask this is because one of my REALLY good friends recently miscarried her 3rd child whom she did not want to be pregnant with AT ALL so now she is INSISTING that her husband get "fixed" but he said "Absolutely NOT!!!"

I asked her why she didn't have a tubal or get the less invasive "assure procedure" since he wasn't willing. She said "Because I don''t know if our marriage is going to last and I might want more kids with someone else someday."

When I finished picking my jaw up off the floor I just changed the subject.

Shouldn't he have the same right????

Why do women think it's ok?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:57 PM on Jun. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (22)
  • I don't see the big deal. I had it done. It's not bad. I know guys who had it done with no problem either. Flip a coin.

    Answer by BlooBird at 11:58 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • Vasectomies can be reversed easier than a tubal.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 11:59 PM on Jun. 10, 2010

  • my dad made my mom get fixed and then he divorced her... and he has 2kids by another woman hes the one that didnt want anymore and she did so i think if they are the ones that dont want anymore kids they should be the ones to get fixed not the other

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • Kind of their business, isn't it? The better question might be why it matters to you. It kind of sounds like maybe he has the same idea she does anyway. Maybe they aren't going to last and want to keep their options open. Either way, not something for you to be involved in.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • i already go through periods, pregnancys, births, and menopause!! hes getting fixed!!!!!!!!!

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 12:02 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • Because it's a nice easy outpatient procedure and not major surgery LOL. DH will be after we're done. What difference does it make which one of us is "permanently infertile"? Vasectomies are usually reversible anyway.

    Answer by Blueliner at 12:03 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • To ensure you're kids status in their father's life should anything happen between you. If he doesn't have any other kids with any other women he can't put them before his kids from a prior relationship.

    Answer by mrsjonzy at 12:04 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • it's cheaper from what i heard.
    let them make the choice
    if she don't think they're going to last.. leave him.. what's the point of infertiling someone if you're not going to 'last'

    Answer by kittenripmaygo at 12:05 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • Yes, your friend's husband should have the same right.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • The "assure procedure" is an procedure that can be done right in the doctor's office and has very little down time so that aregument doesn't seem valid at all.

    And SHE INVOLVED me by bringing it up to me. We tell each other pretty much everything but I don't know how to handle this converstation with her at all because I do not agree with her in the slightest.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.