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Would you move out of state for your "family"?

I've been with my s/o for about two years, ups and downs, but we have a child together. Well we split briefly for a month and are now back together. Literally though within an hour of getting back together he suggested I moved out of state to where he's working so the three of us could be a "family". I'm a little scared to this soon, but understand the point and reason why he wants us to be together. During my pregnancy he was away a lot & the distance always made us fight, but each time we were around each other & he was home for 6 wks for the birth of our child our relationship was as close to perfect as you'd want. I really so want to be together as a "family", yet have a little reservation since we did split for that month & don't want it to happen again. any suggestions?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:07 AM on Jun. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Why can't he just find another job where you live? Is your family close to where you'll be moving or where you live now? I wouldn't up and move with someone. Kid or no kid.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 12:09 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • I wouldn't want to be away from my SO, because I love him and because he's the father of my child. I wouldn't want my daughter's relationship with her father to suffer. If he HAS to move out of state, and there's no other alternatives, I'd seriously consider it. But if he can find a job in state, that would be best, so you can have the support of family and friends.

    My SO and I have been together for 7 years, so I would go with him to the ends of the earth. But you've only been with your honey for two years...it might be a bit premature to move out of state with him right now.

    Good luck. I know this is a hard decision for you.
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 12:20 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • yes..to anywhere but N. Dakota, Minnesota, Kansas, Kentucky. Dont know for sure why I hate all 4 of those states..but I do. I love new experiences and would gladly follow my so anywhere else.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • If you want to make it work, you probably need to be with him, but I would have a bank account in your name only with enough money to get you back home if you need it. I'd probably insist on couples counseling if you're willing to make the move as well.

    Good luck, relationships are a lot of work.....even the good ones.......
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:35 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • I have to admit, the title of your question made me smile :-)

    The reason I say this is because my dh and I will be married 18 yrs in July. We will have lived in 6 States (one of them twice), none of them the State either of us were "from" and 3 countries (one of them being our home country - the US). We are currently living in Japan.

    Moving is NOT always a bad thing, and it is easier for a relationship (and on a family) if you're able to be together. But, it sounds to me like the issue isn't so much that you are afraid of moving as that you are afraid of moving to be with HIM. Only you can decide if that's right for you or not.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:14 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • lol - sorry, I shouldn't have said will have - we HAVE lived in those places - and will be moving again in a couple of yrs.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:15 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • Only with a marriage license, or other legal protection.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:55 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • well I have followed my husband all over the place for the military, a diff country even! so I think I would follow him even if he was only my SO. Esp if you fought over him being gone alot, it may make a difference. If it doesnt work out, you can always go back.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:11 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • I'm married and told my husband before we married that I would not move out of NC, period. He's from here, I'm from here, Raleigh (where we live) has an excellent economy and good schools. There's no reason to move. You have to look at your situation and decide where is the best place for you to raise your child, whether that's with your so or not. Do you have other family support where you are, or where you would be moving to?
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:05 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • I did and we broke up. I got stuck 4 states away from my family and on my own with 3 children and could only get min wage jobs. If you think the relationship has a shot then go, if not then stay home where you have a support group.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:55 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

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