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i need peroples opinions

me and my husband are gettin divorced and liven in two diffrent states. we have a two year old daughter. he is in the army and had been gone most of her life. he is gettin back at the end of this month and wants her to go stay with him every other month. i think that the back and forth is goin to be to much for her. what do you think and what would be a good visitation schedual? i just need some ideas for people not involved. thanks so much

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mommy033

Asked by mommy033 at 9:00 AM on Jun. 11, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (6)
  • Little kids are very adaptable. She'll be fine
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:09 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • I'd say 2 wks with you,2 with him would be better. When she starts school you can do a wekdays with you,weekends with him
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • 1 month away from mommy is a long time for a 2 year old especially since he hasn't been in her life much. Also what are you going to do once school starts? Depending on the state, there is a time limit before you can go back and change visitation schedules so you want to make sure that it's an arrangement you intend on doing for some time.

    We tried every other week and it was too traumatic for her to be away from each of us for that long. As she gets older we will try it again. We have a great parenting relationship though so we rarely go by the schedule.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:29 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • If you make it ok for her then she will be ok. What I mean by that is, kids pick up on your feelings your body language, so talk it up, make a big deal about it....act excited for her to go on a trip.

    I know this is hard to do b/c this is your ex we are talking about, but for her benefit and for her stability she needs you to be ok with it. Show her pictures, buy her a cute new outfit she helps pick out...make it fun and a big deal!

    She will think she has won the lottery.lol
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 9:42 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • He has every right to her that you do, and she will adapt fine! Plus if something ever happened to him and you did not give him enough opportunities would you ever forgive yourself? I am also a military wife, and I would never argue with my husband on visitation...Good luck!
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 9:45 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • A month is a very long time for a 2 year old! I think it would be hard on her to get used to one schedule, household, set of rules and then have to switch back to a different one. If you and your ex can work together to establish some consistency between houses, that would be very beneficial to her! Also, if you can work out a shorter arrangement, like 2 weeks/2 weeks rather than month/month I would think that would be better for her as well. It would mean more changes, but less time to forget what life is like at the "other" house.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:07 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

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