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Is this wrong?

My ex husband is very lax on picking up our son for his visits. As often as he shows up, he doesn't show up. Father's day is right around the corner, but usually if I don't remind him of what holiday's he has our son, he "forgets". Is it wrong of me, not to remind him that he can get him for Father's Day? I know he will miss the visit if I don't remind him, but I think he is a grown man and should be responsible enough to keep track of when he is supposed to have his child.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Jun. 11, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Don't bring it up if your son doesn't. Your ex is a grown man and reminding grown men of things is too much like being their mother. If he can't be bothered to see his own son for visits and would forget about Father's Day, he is the childish one and a horrible example of a parent. It sounds like your husband has made a good effort in being a dad and that is what matters to your son apparently since he asked about Father's Day with him.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 11:33 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • Don't be petty and put your child in the middle of you crap like that. What if he wants to spend Father's Dad with his dad?
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 9:48 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • If your child mentions it,fine,but I wouldn't be bringing up the subject. If your ex can't figure it out,to hell with him!
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:49 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • My thoughts about this is if you don't step up who gets hurt? Your child in the long run. So I would make every effort to keep the man who fathered your child on the right track. Holidays that is totally up to you. I would make sure he spent as much time with his kid as the child needs. Children need parent in the their lives--even flaky parents.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 9:53 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • Don't be petty and put your child in the middle of you crap like that. What if he wants to spend Father's Dad with his dad?


    I didn't say it in the original question, because I did not expect remarks like this.  The only dad my son has asked about spending Father's Day with is his STEPDAD!!


    That being said, in the last year, his real Dad has "forgotten" at least 10 visits, and even "forgotten" to pick him up from school and left him standing there, until I could get there to pick him up.  So, I really don't need a lecture about being "petty" with my ex.  Our son continually gets hurt by him, I am just trying to figure out how to prevent it!  And yeah, I am currently taking his Dad back to court to get his visits reduced, since he can't remember them anyways!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • If he has something more important to do than spend time with his child, then thats on him. Its sad for the child. But he needs to handle his own business and step up. If he cant do that on his own, then why should it be your job to 'remind' him to see HIS SON? He should want to see his son, its not something you should have to remind him about, its something he should look forward to. & If he doesnt then he will be the one who regrets it in the long run.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • Sad situation, but I wouldnt tell him, just to see if he even notices.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • I wouldn't make any plans just in case he does show up, but I wouldn't be his mother and remind him...He's a grown man.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:22 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • i agree with u idont thinkit is wrong if he doesnt remember that is his problem not urs u
    shannonsmom555

    Answer by shannonsmom555 at 10:24 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • If it were just between you and your ex-husband, I would not think it would be wrong. BUT...you have a child here that wants to see his dad and if that means you have to remind him daily for the rest of your life, isn't it worth it?
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 10:32 AM on Jun. 11, 2010

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