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virginity..

i lost my virginity to my husband 6 1/2 yrs ago...we have been married 3 yrs and have 2 kids...he just came out in the open with a story from when he was 14. he was crying big time and begging me not to leave that me and our kids are everything to him...but he may have had sex but doesnt think so...he was asleep on his bed and a girl that was staying a night with his sister was there..he woke up when she jumped on top of him(yea peter is out hes in his boxers) and then a light came on in the house and she ran..he dont think he had sex he wasnt even hard...but he has kept this from me for 6 1/2 yrs...im just so hurt...i love him so much..and i gave him my virginity...im just so hurt he lied...or might have lied.. how do i hget over this?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:08 PM on Jun. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (39)
  • well... if she jumped on him while he was sleeping.. that is rape
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 12:10 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • If you love him you'll forgive something that MIGHT have happened when he was 14 and just a child. Personally sounds like a far fetched dream to me.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 12:10 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • if that is an issue then you need counseling before this!
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 12:11 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • Well if it makes you feel any better my husband told me he had only been with 4 people and then came out with the real number later on. I forgave him no problem because it was in the past and he felt pressured to give me a low number because I was a virgin. Lying isn't right of course not, but this is not the worst secret in the world. I would worry if he had cheated on you or something. This happened when he was 14! It doesn't even sound like it was his fault. I wouldn't be too hard on him. This is not enough to leave a marriage over for sure.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 12:12 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • That happened when he was a child. He is not even sure it happened or not!

    i would feel sorry for you dh and comfort him, make him feel ok, he did nothing wrong.

    Poor hubby! I dont think he lied, it was something he felt ashamed of. You are very harsh!
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 12:12 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • Ok so this happened before you two got together? Get over it...it's his past AND it's not like he went out purposely and had sex and then told you he was a virgin.

    If nothing else, just be happy that he now feels safe enough to tell you about it.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 12:14 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • I dont understand why you feel hurt, you should be consoling your husband IMO.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 12:14 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • If he wasn't even erect then penetration can't have happened, AND that's called rape. Honey, you're blaming a victim here. Go hug him and tell him you love him. He was probably ashamed of the incident and that's why he kept it from you.

    Something similar happened to me. I asked my husband (then boyfriend) to tell me everything he had ever done. He finished talking and I said "Anything else?" He said no. Two days later he came to me crying and told me about another girl he got drunk with when he was 12 who kissed him and felt him up. I was SO hurt that he lied to me, but he did it because he saw how jealous I was getting and because it mean tnothing to him. I overreacted and you are overreacting now. Go and be with your husband, you're being silly.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:14 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • He was a kid...and it wasn't his fault. Let it go. You have a children to raise together!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:15 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • I cannot believe you are upset over this.....wow!

    He was 14? And this still bothers you? WHY? Because you thought he was a virgin & perhaps he was not? Why does it matter? even if he did have sex before you, how would this change your love for him? You guys must be very young, because this really is nothing to be upset over. REMEMBER THIS;

    CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES WISELY!

    You will come across real things to be upset over during your marriage, let this one go.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:16 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

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