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Should I consider letting two of my kids live with my parents if thats what they all want?

I don't want it to be like I'm giving them up.. but my mom keeps asking if two of my kids (the older ones from my first marriage) can live with her. And they've been asking the same question... We have a whole lot of money trouble, and always have.. and my parent pay for everything they need when they're with them. I honestly think they'd have a better life living with them. Would it be horrible of me to allow this to happen? I'd still get them when she worked and they werent in school, and I'd get them on weekends that their other grandma didn't have them. (their father doesnt take them, his mom does)

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:29 PM on Jun. 11, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Yeah, I'm pretty worried I'll regret it and that they won't want to come back. I don't believe that she'd ever take me to court or anything like that, but whats next? her asking for custody papers maybe? I couldn't handle that... Like I said.. I don't want to give them up.. I just want them to have what they deserve and I've never felt like that was me... They don't act like they want to be around me anyway they're constantly asking when grandma is going to pick them up. and If either of them stop by they cry if they can't stay the night with them.. I feel like they don't love me like they love them...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • So you want to reverse your roles? I get a bad feeling about this.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:39 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • Its not really what I want.. but both my kids and my mom want it.. I don't know what to do, shes been asking for years...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:41 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • Can you live with her too?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:42 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • If it's not what you want then don't do it, you only have one chance to rise your kids and once that's gone it is really hard to reestablish a lost relationship.
    psugal

    Answer by psugal at 6:43 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • If its better for them and its what they want , I think its fine. My grandparents kept me since i was 3 months and I am so happy they did. They gave me everything I wanted and I went to school and college. My real mom was always around and she even tho she couldnt support me financially, she was there emotionally and talked to my grandma about things we didnt agree on. I even called my grandparent and still do, mom and dad. Yours wont since they are older, but as long as they are okay with it, I say let them.
    BrittanyD07

    Answer by BrittanyD07 at 6:44 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • Well, they're 5 and 6... But they're my older kids. I had them both when I was a teenager. And even though they live with me it seems we don't have much of a relationship. They always just want to be with their grandmothers.. I wouldn't have them call my mother mom, and I doubt they'd want to. I'm married so theres no way I could live with my parents also.. Plus i have two other children also, well.. one due in 3 weeks (four kids total). We do ok money wise I guess.. but my parents do better for them, only when they're staying there though. They take them to do things, things we can't take them to do.. like see a movie or take them out to eat. And my mother is really good with teaching them things.. she's just better mom material than me.. sucks to say..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:51 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • No I don't think you should give your kids up to your mom or any one else. What would that be teaching them? Families stick together. Not to mention that you would be splitting up your kids. One of the best gifts my parents gave to me and my family was my siblings. We are all close in age and still to this day talk atleast once a week. In contrast, my husbands parents have 1 kid every 4 years and all went and did their own things and they only talk once a year if that. Your kids are close enough together in age to grow up together. Please let them!


    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:15 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • I also think your mom is out of line on trying to get your kids from you. I'm sure that she planted the seed in order to get your kids to ask you. She's the Grandma. Grandma's are not doing their jobs if they don't make their grandchildren feel like the most loved and special person on the planet. Grandma's are also old enough and experienced enough to slow down and talk and listen to kids because they know how fast it goes. That's Grandma "material", not mom material. Mom's are still learning what Grandma's already know.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:16 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • My boys are 4 and 5 and there is no way i would let them live with their grandparents just because they want too. They are not old enough to make those kinds of choices.
    YOU are the parent. YOU make the choice.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 7:47 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

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