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Moving in with disabled FIL, wondering how to deal with 17 yo BIL?

DH and I are moving in with my FIL & BIL (17) at the end of the month, well DH is anyway. I am moving in on Tuesday, my FIL is leaving for a month with my oldest SIL and her family and I am going to be the adult in charge for the rest of this month until DH is there full time.
FIL has made it clear there are not to be any parties or bil friends over (except some of his cousins) but BIL hangs out with the wrong crowd and I expect to have to enforce this rule more than once. (These people are not people I want around my son and FIL is on the same page, I mean junkies and theives kind of people) How should I go about enforcing this rule without being a giant B****?
I am really nervous about moving in because of this. If FIL werent disabled and needing someone to help him (BIL is also lazy as heck) we wouldnt be moving in at all. I have FIL support, but the first two weeks are going to be hard without FIL or even DH to help

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:25 PM on Jun. 11, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (2)
  • before everyone leaves, have a family meeting, and have FIL and DH tell BIL the rules and what will happen if he doesnt follow them. he get a warning and after that you are calling the police. that wy you dont have to be a bitch, you can say"I warned you". I have to say tho, I think its wrong for everyone to leave you alone with a 17 yr old who hangs with bad folks and seems dangerous. I wuldnt do it at all, no way. I would not put myself or my sons int hat position with someone who obviously scared me, cuz you sound scared. good luck.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 7:28 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • It's going to be tough. You probably aren't much older than BIL. Have FIL write down ALL rules and post them on the fridge. When BIL asks to break a rule or is breaking a rule, refer him to the fridge. FIL should have a phone at all times so you can reach him if you have problems. If he doesn't have a cell phone, buy him a $20 Tracphone.

    I was living with a friend in AZ getting medical treatment and my 19 yo son was in IN where we had lived. She said my son could come live with her too. I did the rule list on the fridge. For my son I included funny rules like "no bringing home cats walking around neighborhood, they really have homes" (everyone let their cats out). I also had serious rules so he would bother my friend the least possible. It worked well for us.


    Answer by Gailll at 7:35 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

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