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He states it is not an affair?

My husband keeps telling me that he is not doing anything wrong with his best friend which is female. I think that they are inappropriate due to texting 16 to over 30 messages in a day, contacting each other behind my back. Plus my husband bought a prepaid phone to use because he is worried I will have him cut off our plan due to the contact with her. He did not tell me about the phone. I found out almost a week later. They made plans to meet this Sunday as friends. I found out from the text. He told me he needed a guys night and would be out of touch Sunday. I confronted him, he still says that they are friends. He said that I could call her but I do not have the number and he will not give me the phone, because he is worried I will break it. He has moved into our spare room, stating that I have lost it and parnoid and he may want a divorce. Should I contact the other woman? If he is right, will that cause more problems?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:48 PM on Jun. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • He's cheating on you!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • Sorry to say sweetie but YES he's having an affair. Him buying a prepaid phone to contact this other woman is your first big red flag. And also him moving into the spare bedroom and saying he may want a divorce bcuz YOU are crazy and paranoid are only excuses for him to get want he wants without being the bad guy. If I were you I would be filing for a divorce first chance I got but that's just me...good luck!
    momluvsmiles

    Answer by momluvsmiles at 10:55 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • Affairs don't have to be sexual to be an affair.

    It's at least perfectly clear he's having an emotional affair with her. That alone is enough to be horribly offended as a wife.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • Was he friends with this girl before or after you two met and got married? What is their whole relationship? If they are best friends then why isnt she coming around? A little wierd... I would say something is going on! And he is trying to turn the problem around on you! I wouldnt be upset if he is asking for a divorce because you should be the one demanding a divorce!
    mrsmamaj

    Answer by mrsmamaj at 11:07 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • sounds like your real question is do you know a good divorce lawyer?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • They were friends and we did do a few things with her and her husband before. But I did not like her, I can not put my finger on it but I just could not hang out. She was always needy. She would call all hours or text. She always had a problem that he had to fix for her. I asked him to end the friendship and he did. But they renewed it on facebook. He said that fbook was all but then it turned into text messages and sending messages on fbook. Her husband passed away last year. He keeps telling me how she has it so rough. She needs her friends. But I need my husband. But all my problems are due to being crazy and she has real life situations, (he did not say that is how I feel). He does think that I have goine over the edge and now is using comments taht I trusted him with in my face, such as I recently thought about killing myself. I am ok now, though. I see a therapist and we are to have a marriage session next week. Maybe.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • Yeah, he's banging her.
    Blaiden

    Answer by Blaiden at 11:15 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • Is there not one person that thinks just maybe he is not? Do I contact her?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • I think there is the possibility he is not. But since you already don't like her and told him to end his friendship with her, yeah, he's going to be sneaky about it. I mean, you were already wanting to control his social life by telling him to stop being friends with someone. And now you're upset because he's trying to be a good friend after her husband DIED??? That's kind of wrong. I think marriage counseling is a very good idea.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

  • Nope, I don't think so. It may not be a physical or sexual affair, but it's an emotional one. And that's worse. And it sounds to me like he's making you crazy on purpose so he can then blame you for the affair. Calm down, try to keep a level head. I don't know that calling her will do any good. You could, and let her know he's married, maybe she doesn't know. Maybe he's been lying to her. If she knows, and is just a whore, find a good lawyer.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 11:36 PM on Jun. 11, 2010

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