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Anyone adopted? And if so what's your story? Have you met the bio parents?

I just had my first baby and will be turning 24 in two weeks. I was adopted at age 5 and remember seeing my bio mother when those papers were signed at age 5. But honestly have lived with my adoptive parents since I was 2 wks old. Since the day of my adoption I've yet to see my bio Mother again. To my understanding she was a "liar" and told so many stories as to her reasons for adopting me out, I've never really had to have strong feelings about anything "solid". I heard she tried to "abort" me, another time I heard she didn't even know who my dad was etc. She had me out of an affair & her husband would "kill" her etc. So my feeling towards her are mixed. But now that I've a son, I've thought of her often and wondered if anyone has any advice on perhaps pursing the idea of meeting her? I know where she is and know distant family members of hers, so I can locate her. Just don't know if I should.

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Jeda624

Asked by Jeda624 at 12:04 AM on Jun. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (6,253 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I was adopted out the day I was born. My adoption was final when I was 6 months old. I've known all along I was adopted and that I had sibling out there somewhere.
    Then 4 days before Christmas, my bioligical sister found me on FB. What a Christmas present right?! So I met up with her and we talked about EVERYTHING. The only sad thing about finding my "family" was finding out my bio-mom killed herself five years ago. :(
    I had always told myself I didn't care if I ever met her. Fine if I did; Fine if I didn't, KWIM? But now, knowing that she's gone forever, I wish I could have had that chance to meet her just one time.
    If you do decide to meet your bio-mom, just be prepared for rejection. Good luck!
    liz.1986

    Answer by liz.1986 at 12:15 AM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • That is a personnal decision and no one can tell you what to do. I will share my story with you and try to keep it brief. I was adopted at 3 months. and my bio mom was way out of the pic by then. Grew up in a good stable home. Asked questions once in awhile after my parents sat me down and told me I was adopted at about the age of 8. My mom always got tears in her eyes when I brought it up, so I stopped asking. Fast forward to after I got married and had kids. My husband asked me if I wanted to find out more about my bio mom and I said yes. Turned out that the adoption agency notified her and we ended up meeting. I learned at that point that she had been raped, that was a tough one for me. It pretty much became an obsitcle for us to continue on with a healthy relationship and in the end it didnt work out. My kids where really little when they met her and dont remember her. I still feel sad things didnt work out,,but its ok..:)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 AM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • i was adopted at 6 months.. loved my parents.. they have both passed away. My desire is not necessarily to find my bio parents, however I was separated from 6 brothers and sisters. They were all adopted by one family and I was adopted by another. I was the baby girl and they were all together in a foster home and I was in a separate home. I do hope to some day find them.
    bonn777

    Answer by bonn777 at 12:24 AM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • To the first two posters: What are your feeling towards your adoptive parents?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 AM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • I was adopted at two and we have no way to know who our parents are my adopted mother told me so many lies about them i have no idea who they are. The state told us the truth we were left in Colorado at the social services building. I am never going looking for them either. I do not have a relationship with my adopted parents because my mom hates me she wanted my brother and the only way she could keep him was to keep me but she did not want me. I think if you want to find her you should. GL Momma

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:01 PM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • I'm really concerned that you have heard so many negative things about her. Who told those to you? There are two sides to every story. You may want to seek out some counseling to help you sort out these feelings. You might be surprised if you met her. She might not be as bad as you've been told. I can't help but feel a little suspicious that you've been told such awful things about her. Why would anyone tell you that she wanted to abort you? How awful. I question the motives and credibility of anyone who would say such a thing. I'm sorry if I'm totally off-base here, but reading that raised some red flags to me. Good luck in whatever you decide.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Jun. 12, 2010

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