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How can I fix this?

Ok my dd is almost 4. She is honsetly the WORST behavioed child EVER! She screams and throws fits ALL the time…It’s like she doesn’t enjoy ANYTHING! I know that I need to be more consistent with her disapline but I am not a patient person and I get really angry and frustrated and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I can’t handle this. I am fighting with her ALL day EVERYDAY! NOTHING works! I have tried taking toys away and time outs but its like it doesn’t even affect her. My dh DOES NOT agree with spanking so I can not try that. I am at my wits end and I really need help. If you have questions let me know cuz I am not sure how much detail to put in the question as far as her behavior goes but, here is an example of COMMON behavior. cont....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:18 AM on Jun. 12, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (48)
  • Tonight she was waiting for Daddy to read her a story and she went into our bedroom while I was in the bathroom (so I didn’t see her go in there) She dropped her new book behind our bed and started crying so I went in there to see if I could get it without having to mover the bed and I couldn’t do it. My dh is disabled so he could not help me move the bed so I told dd that she would have to wait and I would get the book for her tomorrow. she FREAKED out I mean crying to the point where her face was bright red and she wouldn’t get out of our bedroom so I went in there to pick her up and put her in time out and she hit me in the face multiple times so I put her in time out took her favorite toy away and put her in bed without a story or anything “fun”. She cried in her room for 25 mins before falling asleep. That kind of tantrum happens on average anywhere from 10-15 times a DAY!!! so what do i do?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 AM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • wow...thanks a lot...she is in a preschool program where she goes 4 days a week for two hours a day..and can i just say that i thought this was a place for mom's to come for help and SUPPORT not to get told how horrible you are...I need help. She is my first kid and i have no support around me and no experince and i just need a little help...thanks alot for making me feel worse!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:36 AM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • My DD has her days and moments but I have to agree with SARAP she is right. You have to pick your battles and if you can take the heat then you should have thought about that before she come into your life. A day program may do her some real good, if she is with you day after day and has no LO's to play with.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:42 AM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • Your welcome I am not the first poster but hey you are being a meany two shoes also. Pull the bed out and get her book, you just were at your wits end and used that as ok your in bed I am not dealing with you, You need to have your own time-out for real. I am not trying to make you feel worst we just want to you to pick your battles some fights are just not worth having it's called save face and get the book.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:48 AM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • did you NOT read the part where i said that I COULDN'T move the bed by myself to get the book and that my DH is disabled and so i needed to wait until the next day so that someone could help me? It wasn't that i didn't want to get the book. I tried for 15 mins using a broom and trying to reach back there to get it and trying to push the bed out of the way but it couldn't do it myself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:49 AM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • OMG!!! She was WAITING for daddy to read her the book. I was helping him in the bathroom and we had both told her that as soon as daddy was finished in the bathroom he would read her the story and she was calm until i couldn't get the book back...there is NOOOOOO reason for a child her age to throw a tanturm like she did because she has to wait until tomorrow to read that story..that is UNACCEPTABLE behavior. DO you just give your kids everything the want right when they want it? I mean COME ON!!! I offered her a different story and i stayed calm the entire time. I didn't freak out because she dropped a book. I got frustrated because she was pounding her feet and hands on the ground SCREAMING at the tops of her lungs!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 AM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • if your kid had a tantrum like that are you really telling me you wouldn't have given them a time out?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:05 AM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • WOW sarah is really ragging on you. she did what she sould to try to get the dam nbook and when she told her shedhave to wait to get THAT book she freaked out. She never said she wouldnt read her a book at all, it just couldnt be that book because she couldnt get it!!

    then her daughter flipped out and she then told her no books and put her to bed.
    What did you want er to do?Cave in and read another book just so she would stop crying?? THAT is what would make her continue to act up. and she even said she takes her to preschool. some kids are just harder than others. I say put her in time out when she acts up and stand strong with it. dont cave or it will show your weakness and shell do it again and again.

    jeeze ladies...

    OP if u ever wanna chat write me!! :)
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 4:37 AM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • exactly what she said do u guys give ur kids everything they ask for seriously you guyss think it is good 2 give them everything they ask 4 but u guys are ruining their lives watch the day u guys dont give ur kids what they ask 4 and c how they will react.

    to the person that asked the question when they start screaming try to not show u r mad that sometimes makes them do it worse it used to happen with my 3yr old and i realized it was because i always gave him what he asked for and i wouldnt discipline him i wouldnt even raise my voice now that i dont give him every thing he asks for and i tell him if he wants a certain thing he has to calm down first then he can do what he wanted and it works but u have to talk to them showing them u r serious and not frustrated for example you could have sid "you want me to read that book to you you will have to wait because i cannot get it by myself and say do you want another1
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:44 AM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • MomNbabyGirl009-- thank you!!! I am trying to stick with the time outs it is just hard because it seems like they don't work and also it seems like i am putting her in time out ALL day!! I am trying really hard though...I really apprecaite your understanding!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:46 AM on Jun. 12, 2010

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