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Love but not in love...

My husband told me today that he loves me but he is not in love with me. I know that we have problems but there is no one else per him and to my knowledge. I love my husband and I want to have a happy marriage with him. We have been married for several years and recently adopted a teenage daughter. How do I save my marriage?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:47 AM on Jun. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • I think you all need to work on the issues at hand that you all are having. go see a professional and see if that will help you all. You said you just adopted a child and that can be a big strain on a couple and a big change for a single person. Why don't you find out more about how he's feeling about all the changes and what the issues are and what needs to happen.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 AM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • if he is not in love with you it's not fair to either of you to just stay together for the sake of staying together. both have to be madly in love for the marriage to really work and for you 2 to be happy. you can try to rekindle back when you first fell in love but if he's truly not in love with you and can't fall back in love with you then you need to let him go for the both of you

    Answer by aliishott2 at 6:44 AM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • You don't have to be in love to have a good marriage. It's all in what's important in life, being a good person, wife, mom, partner, friend, etc. Just ask him what he wants. He may be content with what he has and the marriage might be fine.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:17 AM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • I have told my husband this before... he loves you because he cares about you very much, and that is good! But what I think he means by not being in love with you is that the passion is not there... I'm sure after being together for a while you fall into a routine. Spice things up show him you are still the same person you used to be. Make sure you make time for just the two of you! Bring back the passion! If that doesnt work then I would go talk to a counselor! GL


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 AM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • what was his intention of telling you that? is he looking for more spice? was he trying to hurt your feelings? two totally different things. it can be taken to mean many things. as a relationship matures, the "in love" stage gets quieter - this is normal. there are ways to retain the excitement, but he would have to be part of that too. if he is looking for some variety and/or reassurance, then you can work on that together. on the other hand, if he is trying to give you a lame excuse to exit from the relationship, well that's another story. you need to talk to him and figure out which this is.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 10:29 AM on Jun. 12, 2010

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