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marriage rut, need advice

I've been married for 6 years and we have been together for 9, we have an 11 month old baby and another on the way. He works 3rd shift and I work 1st, we see each other for a few hours during the week and on sundays but more on saturdays. We have to same routine, I dont get much attention, help around the house, with our child and rarely have sex. I love him. I work with a man at work that I talk about my problems to but he says he will cheat on his wife for me, I know that we are sexually attracted to each other but I have morals and wont cheat. I feel like if my marriage doesnt get more excting I may not trust myself not to cheat, I get lots of attention from him.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:21 PM on Jun. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • well dont take to the man at work youve opened the door to cheat slam it shut. try and take a weekend of the both of you and start putting more effort into your marriage instead of complaining to your co worker how would you feel if the roles were reversed and he was telling all your problems to a woman and became tempted to cheat.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 PM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • your coworker is a fucking pig. find a better person to give you support. talk with your husband to see if the two of you can come up with some ideas together on how to make things work better for both of you. an affair isn't going to solve your problems, and it sounds like you will end up feeling worse if you went through with it. you already know you don't want to. the attention from someone who simply wants to fuck you isn't going to cure your problems... then you can end up with even more. if you can use the limited amount of time you have in a productive way - focusing on your family and you and your husband on each other, that small bit of real attention in a real relationship will go alot further than a fling. sometimes excitement is the same thing as ongoing problems and drama... communicate about the things preventing you from having more fun with your husband during the time you have. you can do this.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 12:26 PM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • I feel like you are cheating already. EMONTIONALLY! I would feel sick if i found out my husband was telling another woman how unhappy/the problems we have. Now your in a place were the man wants to sleep with you and hes married its disgusting to me. The man your talkinging to at work is a pig to me. If your that unhappy to get to this point leave your husband. Is he a good man? Does he try hard to provide and love you and your kids? People are so ungreatful!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 PM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • Wow i thought PIG to when i was thinking about the man involved LOL I would be honest with my husband and tell him i need more do you need more because im sure this isnt how he wants things to be. Life is hard times get hard thats what marriage is for to grow learn and count on each other and know when its hard we work harder to get to a good place.
    whitenena

    Answer by whitenena at 12:32 PM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • An emotional affair can be just as damaging or even more so than a physical one and that is what you are having - intimate conversations about things your should be talking with your husband about equals having an emotional affair. I would come clean sooner rather than later and tell your husband you want to be able to talk about these things with him and that you two should start seeing a therapist to rebuild your communication skills. Being pro-active is much better than reactive in this situation.
    psugal

    Answer by psugal at 12:35 PM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • why do women always cheat because they don't get enough attention? seriously quit complaining to the a hole at work and make an effort for your marriage. you might get the attention from the other man you want if you cheat. but it won't last long. then when your husband finds out you cheated he'll leave. you'll be alone raising two young children all because your husband doesn't spend enough time with you. make an effort.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • Did you ever consider that you are about to become this other man's side whore? He has a wife right? Why are you telling him your problems? How would you feel if you knew this very moment that your husband was talking to another woman and she was making him feel good about himself? Your taking all your energy and passion from your husband and giving it to this man. Be smart. This other guy might be a "prince charming" now but if you leave your husband for him you just might find yourself posting on here about some woman he met as his job and how he is cheating on you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:16 PM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • I'd say start working the same shift so you have more time with you husband and can reclaim your marriage. Cheating won't get ou where ou want to go, it will just make a bg mess for you.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 3:25 PM on Jun. 12, 2010

  • I tired talking to my husband a little bit ago and he got all mad and said this is who you married and your stuck with me. I try to put effort to talk but it has to work both ways, my husband has to try and listen not get mad at me. I only talk to the guy at work because I dont have anyone else to talk to, I dont ever plan to cheat, I will never be alone with my cowoker. Thanks!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:13 PM on Jun. 12, 2010

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