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I'm letting my son go bashing

I am just so sick and tired of him not eating what is given to him or he will ask for something specific for dinner then when it is done he changes his mind. so tonight I tell him it is time for bed and he says he is hungry.
This has also been used in the past to stall his bedtime.

So tonight I have had enough and deep down I do care if he is hungry but really he needs to learn and I'm just fed up with things! he won't eat, changes his mind and then at the end of the night he is suddenly hungry!!
I am in the wrong here??? would you say it is time I put my foot down?
or should I just keep letting him decide when he needs and wants to eat?

I can bug him about a bedtime snack all the way up until bedtime. but
when I expect him to get in bed he sits there and says"I'm hungry"...usually I give in, but tonight I have had it!


Asked by Anonymous at 1:08 AM on Jun. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • he'll be fine. in our house, i choose what to make, they choose how much to eat and when. kids have gone to bed hungry, but they certainly don't starve.

    Answer by jcsmummy at 12:33 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • When I do bug him for his bedtime snack he says "thats ok I'm not hungry"

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:10 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • How old is your son?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • That's how it works in our house from the age of about 2 1/2 and up:
    You eat what I make or you go without and we have NEVER had an after dinner snack. Dinner is at around 5-6pm and that's it. There is no eating afterward no matter how hungry you are (should have filled up at dinner instead of saying you were done so you could go back to playing/watching TV).
    My kids learned real quick to just eat and not complain and stuff.
    I refuse to make 10 different things for dinner. If I am making something I KNOW one of the kids really doesn't care for I try to have something they like included or they are allowed to have a PB&J (which they make themselves) but for the most part they have to eat what I make.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 1:14 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • My daughter (2 years old) refused to eat anything but popsicles and cake for two days once. She would take bites here and there, but wouldn't actually EAT anything until I let her go hungry. Your child will not starve himself. He WILL eat. I bet he eats whatever you put in front of him for breakfast lol.

    I think all kids have to go hungry once or twice in their life before they realize that they can't get away with being picky or eating junk.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 1:15 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • I say let him go hungry. give him some water and send him off to bed. Make sure he's not eating between lunch and dinner if it's that big of a deal that he's not hungry at dinner time. Make sure nobody else is in the kitchen getting after dinner snacks either..."kitchen is closed" as they say!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:21 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • If he is old enough to refuse to eat, he is old enough to go to bed hungry. Assuming he is a otherwise healthy child/toddler. Those are the rules in our house from about 2 and up.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 1:26 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • That was the rule of my house while I was growing up, and now it's the rule of ours too.
    Unless it was something "new" and I tried it, and honestly didn't like it... then that was okay. But if it was a meal that I like/love and all of a sudden I'm just not hungry because I want something else, being picky, or whatever... my mom would always say, "Well, I guess you're just not that hungry then." and I would do without. I learned VERY fast to eat what was put in front of me, or I would be the one paying.
    I even had to do it with my DH! lol, though he did end up having to make a sandwich or something for himself. His mom always catered to him, and would always wind up making him something else to eat if he "just wasn't in the mood." Yeah, well. No.

    Answer by ManicMomma02 at 1:32 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • this is the son is almost 6 yrs old

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:51 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • I know it's hard, but you are doing exactly the right thing! Even my kids' Dr said that we should offer them healthy, appetizing, regular meals (which we were doing). If they won't eat (our ds tried this), but want to just snack around later, or want to stall bedtime because they want to eat, etc, then you nicely but firmly say "I'm sorry you're hungry, but you chose to not eat your meal. __ will be at __. You could consider making the next meal a little earlier if you want. No snacks if they don't eat a reasonable amount of their meal.

    He probably is hungry, and he probably will be really hungry in the morning, and right now, he probably thinks your mean. BUT - it's your job to love him enough to do the right thing - and in this case, he needs to learn meal times and bed times and to not try to manipulate you with it. You need to love him enough to not care if he likes you at the moment.

    You're doing a good job!

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:03 AM on Jun. 13, 2010