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why do people wait until 3 to even try toilet training?

My cousin has just started her daughter at age 3 potty training. It's going well - she is holding her poop but she's peeing in the potty just fine. My best friend is STILL struggling with her son age 4 who she says just won't go. She started him right after his 3rd b-day. I'm just wondering, in either case, why wait that long. I have three children who trained before they were 20 months old. It just wasn't that big a deal. We had some accidents for awhile, but then it was done, over, good to go. Are people really that afraid of cleaning up a mess? Do we really have this little faith in our toddlers these days? I'm just wondering what has happened because my mom says that when I was little, everyone was trained by around 2, and my brothers and I trained at 18 months. How do you look at a 2 1/2 year-old and think he or she should be in a diaper without even trying? I feel sorry for those kids.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:05 AM on Jun. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (146)
  • It's called lazy half ass parenting. A three yr old should not be in diapers, no if and or buts about. And while we're at it, if your child's feet touch the ground while their in a stroller and they're older than 2 they are waaaay 2 old to be in a stroller. By the age of three they are able to keep up with us and have a TON of stamina.

    Answer by Ronique1989 at 9:12 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • We started at 18 mos.... it didn't end till after ds was 3. DS has chronic constipation issues, so the pooping in the potty was a REAL struggle

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 9:13 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • my son is going to be 3 in a few months and ive been trying reallllly hard to potty train him on and off for a few months now.. i agree that after 3 children shouldnt be in diapers and @ ronique i agree about the stroller thing completely ! ( my cousin had her 4 yr old in a stroller wtf?) but anyway some children are more resitant than others..if the parents arent even trying thats a problem

    Answer by zperez0809 at 9:18 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • Whoa wait a minute---Every kid matures at a different rate! My girl was trained at about 2 but boy not until ae 3,,,AS long as i doesn't affect what is going on your house,, why do you care? Starting a child to early can cause stress for both child and parent---There are many studies that say most children cannot comprehend toilet training until age 2--before that you know who is trained? The parents,, running them to the potty every 15 minutes,, LOL!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • I don't understand that either. My oldest just turned 3 and she's been trained so long I forget what it was like having her in diapers. Thinking of her at THIS age squatting in the corner to poop her pants seems about the most absurd thing I can imagine. Her little sister is 21 months and is fully trained, too. I guess there were moments where it was hard or inconvenient, but I hardly remember them now. So many people say you shouldn't push them to train. I just don't see how it is different from pushing them to learn to use a fork, to learn to clean up their toys, to be able to go to the grocery store without fussing. It's just part of growing. Diaper companies are in league with the professionals who tell us not to "push" (so as to avoid, what, psychological damage?) so they can sell diapers to us for an extra few years much to the detriment of our environment.

    Answer by EmilySusan at 9:22 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • And I will grant that there is a stage of the younger training where the parent has to be "trained" or at least vigilant. We spent a couple of months asking our daughters or reminding them to go. I never had to take my kids every 15 minutes. But that part doesn't last forever... it's not like you have to do that until age 3 or 4 or even 2!!! Just a moment ago, I watched my 21 month-old walk up to her potty, pull her pants down, pee, and then look up at me and say, "all done mommy wipe." She tells us "more potty mommy daddy" when we're in the car, at the store, etc... She even sleeps in underwear. So I think she comprehends it.

    Answer by EmilySusan at 9:26 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • Maybe it is because it is no one else's business but the parents of that child who know their child. My daughter is 19 months old and isn't walking yet but according to so many I should start trying to potty train her. Well I am sorry if she can't walk yet to make it to the bathroom I highly doubt it would do any good. Many things factor into potty training and it is not just a one age fits all category.

    Answer by carmadsmom at 9:26 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • My DD is 3 and we've BEEN TRYING to potty train. I have twin boys who are 18 while my DD is sitting on the potty I can either have SCREAMING children on the other side of the door (which isn't my idea of fun and my dd usually starts crying because they're screaming)....OR I can have them falling over in the tub and bumping thier head on corners, trying to unstring toilet paper, pulling towels out of the cupboard, reaching into the potty while DD is trying to do her thing (which to this day hasn't actually peed or pooped in the potty!)
    I don't understand why people like you feel the need to judge? What does it matter if they're in diapers/pull ups at 3?

    How is it hurting your family that other peoples' children aren't potty trained yet? Besides the fact that you get to put others down for doing the best they can?????

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • Wow! You are just the image of perfect Motherhood, (or at least YOU think so). There are many reasons why Mothers do/don't do things. If No one is asking YOU for the $ for the diapers why should you care. MYOB and raise your children how you wish and let others do as they wish. I hope this is the biggest worry you ever have in your life. Oh Perfect One!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • To EmilySusan....quit being so paranoid about diaper companies...jeeze...because the psychologist recieve a kickback from the companies if they tell us not to push our children? lol Your ridiculous and way too paranoid!!!!
    I've never even heard a psychologist say anything like
    Are kids aren't going to die if they're not potty trained by 2!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:33 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

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