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Update on 'Getting Him To Love My Muffin'

we had the talk last night about this. He has been reluctant and has not done it in a year because ofa conversation we had about how he was not doing it right for ME. I just tried to tell him, that when it comes to this i am very different from his past relationships and like different things. (Everyone is Different) well anyways i said it a lil wrong and he told me i SHATTERED his confidence in it... so last night i told him straight up that i feel he is using this to not give me any. After a long discussion where we both got quite miffed he agreed to try to do it more, but then told me that i cant say no (until who knows when) and this will help build his confidence back up. But he also told me that he will know if i fake it and that will hurt him too. So how do i go about 'getting into it' on days when that is the LAST things i want? Oh and he said that there could be little warning. I like to be groomed and showered. cont.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:45 AM on Jun. 13, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Anon 10:20 said it all.... that is completely unreasonable... he needs to undertsand life happens... he is trying to make you feel the way he might have felt when you told him he wasnt fulfilling your needs. Every woman is different, and if he doesnt know that by now he is completely all about himself. You both need to talk about what you both want and need and make it work for the both of you, making love is about fulfilling each others wants! If he just wants to hit it a walk away maybe he shouldnt be in a commited relationship. You should talk to him again and maybe come to an agreement on when is a good time for the two of you. Maybe set up a couple night a week, so you can prepare and he wont get turned down. If that doesnt work idk maybe go see a sex threrapist.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • OP: So he tells me this, when he metions it i should, drop what im doing and RUN to the bathroom to shower and shave and powder and perfume and then go to the bedroom where he will be waiting. He also says that if i 'turn him down' and say no that he will be hurt and who knows when he will get the 'courage' to do it again. I want him to regain his confidence (which i also don't really believe he lost) but maybe he lost a little. If 3 girls said u were AMAZING and soo GREAT and then one said you didnt do it to her style, would you really lose ALL your confidence. anyways what is a way to tell him that expecting me to just drop everything and RUN to do this is not fair. oh and the faking how am i going to enjoy it if i feel like im being made to do this. im the type of girl who like to plan in advance. With a nice hot bath to help clean and then a hot shower and a shave and ALOT of prep so i smell and taste good. any advice, plz

    Answer by smilelovesmile at 9:50 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • Uh, he's being unreasonable. Why? IDK, but he is. I didn't read the other post. But, he lost his confidence in going down there? And in order for him to get said confidence back you have to drop everything when he says so, go shower and get all ready for him? You cannot say no, and if you fake it, said confidence will again be squashed? Does he think that you will always be in the mood?
    I think there is something else going on with him that he's not telling you. And I wouldn't accept this crap he's trying to pull.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 10:05 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • agreed with raine2001.....

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:09 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • All I heard was "Excuse, rationalize, excuse, me no wanna, my poor ego." Yeah, the guy is setting himself up for failure and doing it in such a way that he can eventually blame you. What a tool.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • Tell him he's being unreasonable.

    Answer by lowencope at 10:24 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • Tell him if he wants it done then have him do iy for you it is a turn on he shows you abd shaves you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on Jun. 13, 2010



    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • It sounds like you want him to adjust to you but you are being resistant to adjusting to what he wants. It's about compromise. I was like you and wanted to be prepped and ready and SO is one who is I'm on my way be ready in ten. I've learned to adjust. I've learned to put attention toward what is important, the act, not the prep. Give it a try his way. It might be interesting.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:59 AM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • Sounds like he is still being a controlling jerk, and if you don't jump thru his hoops and do what he wants when he thinks he might be ready, then he has an excuse to say NO. Hmmmm I think you should turn the tables on him and tell him that he will not get anymore oral from you until AFTER he does it to you--- and then you will do it when YOU want and he better jump thru your hoops.....

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Jun. 13, 2010