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If you plan on paying for your kids "further education"...

Do you expect to have control over things like where, when and if they work, where the live (on campus or off), where they go (what school) or what they major in?

I ask because a lot of the reasons I chose not to go to school (which I don't regret) was because my mother wanted complete control over all my choices...

I plan on letting my kids make these choices for themselves. I do expect that they keep their grades decent, but only because I see no reason to pay for schooling if you aren't going to actually learn...

What about you?

Answer Question
 
SabrinaMBowen

Asked by SabrinaMBowen at 11:56 AM on Jun. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 40 (122,988 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I plan to pay for my girl's college (still a loooong ways away) but I am not going to restrict her. I will stop paying if she chooses to live on campus and parties her time away instead of getting good grades. We've (hubby and I) already discussed it. So long as she maintains a "b" average or better, we'll pay. But if it drops and it's not due to the course load or having a hard time because the class is hard, we'll stop.
    I had a friend growing up whose parents said they'd pay for her college, but it wasn't until time to select a major that they told her they wouldn't pay unless she went into teaching. She hated other people's kids and that would have been a horrible job for her, so she didn't go then and when she was able to go a few years later, she paid for it herself.
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 12:10 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • Don't forget about having to pay for several years of college while they "find themselves" and switch majors several times. i think a kid who is helping to foot the bill will not be so wasteful and make clearer choices.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • I plan on helping with my daughter's college as much as possible and I will want to talk to my daughter about these choices and help her make the best choices possible.
    psugal

    Answer by psugal at 12:23 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • i will let my kids choose where they go and what they learn. they will be adults and more than likely able to make good choices. we are only paying for 50% to make it easier on them, but they need to earn the rest and learn a good work ethic on the way.
    jcsmummy

    Answer by jcsmummy at 12:29 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • We will help pay for school, but my LO will have to have a job in order to help foot her personal bills outside of the realm of basic living expenses, tuition and books. We will discuss these things as she gets older and is preparing for college
    coala

    Answer by coala at 12:36 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • No, i wont be making those choices for my children. If i have enough money to pay for everything they possibly need and want through college, i will - if not, i would probably have them get a little job just for spending money - but really i want there entire focus to be on school so that they get good grades and a good gpa, so if they cant handle work and school, then they dont need to work. i stopped going to HS at 15 & didnt go back to school until 19 - so jumping right into college after being out for school long was tough so i didnt start working right away, my mom let me focus completley on getting back into school the first few semesters.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 12:40 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • The only thing I would have control over is where they live. Obviously I'm not going to pay for him to live in a palace when he could live in a nice dorm or apartment complex for much cheaper. Where he wants to go to school and what he wants to major in is completely up to him. I would never force my kids to do something they didn't want to do or weren't interested in. Enjoying your major and being interested in it is the key to good grades. If you aren't interested in what you are studying or don't want to be in that field, you won't do well.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 12:42 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • I think this all depends on so many factors... I plan on helping my kids with these choices. A lot of it will depend on where they go to school. The only thing I insist on if they want to live in my house is that they go to college and keep their grades up enough to stay there!!!

    Morgain

    Answer by Morgain at 1:11 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • If I'm done paying for my own.... Ugh!
    Mel_in_PHX

    Answer by Mel_in_PHX at 1:33 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • Yes, we plan on paying for both of our children's college.
    I wouldn't want to be so strict that I would basically be dictating what they're doing in college, but I would want to discuss some reasonable options. I wouldn't care if they wanted to switch majors, since that's just one of the possibilities of going to college. I think college is a valuable learning lesson and the moment where you truly find out what you really want to do in life, and I wouldn't want my own dreams or rules to set them back. As long as everything is reasonable, I wouldn't mind what they wanted to do. I would still want them to have a nice career when they get out, and be happy about it! :]
    ManicMomma02

    Answer by ManicMomma02 at 1:54 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

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