Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What do you think of someone who has a service and burial for their fetus. I know she was pretty early in her pregnancy because they didn't know the sex of the baby.

The husband posted something on facebook about having to have to bury his baby today. He talked about how small the coffin was.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:55 PM on Jun. 13, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • I say whatever helps them grieve, though that wouldn't be the path I would chose to take.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:57 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • that just happened to someone i know. she was 16 weeks and had a miscarriage. they made her deliver, and said it was required by state law that they have a burial and the coffin was the size of a shoebox. supposubly, the mother didnt even want it, but they gave her no choice. i posted a question about that not that long ago because i thought it was really wierd...
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 4:57 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • I know Catholics are suppose to. But if she is not. If that is way she works through it then the is there decisions.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:58 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • To each their own,, and I lost a baby at 28 weeks,, did not have a service,, her name was Lily,, and we chose to have her cremated, against my parents wishes,,,She will be buried with me or my husband when we pass,, some people need public ceremonies and I guess we should just be sorry for thier loss,,,,,,If they had a coffin,,it may have been further along than you think,, so sad,, you should reach out to them and tell them how sorry you are!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 4:59 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • I think whatever helps them to grieve is best for them. I would just support them in whatever they choose. Some people would not want a burial/ceremony, but I also know moms with second tri m/cs who were upset that they did NOT have the option and that their baby was treated as 'medical waste.' I don't think it should be forced, but I think the option should exist for bereaved moms and dads who choose it.
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 5:03 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • I think thats very sweet. We had our 8 month gestational baby girl cremated. i know what its like to lose a child. If this gives them peace,I commend them.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 5:04 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • There are a lot of people who consider the "fetus" a baby as soon as they are aware they are pregnant, to them they lost a child even if they didn't actually meet outside the womb, so it's not that weird IMO. I think it's completely up to the individual how they deal with something like that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:04 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • What did you want them to do? It was their child. It helped them go through the grieving process, it gave them closure, it let them cry and love their baby. What would you do?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:28 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • I don't know what do people usually do when they have a miscarriage? She wasn't that far along in her pregnancy. It probably was the size of a beatle.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:38 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • A friend of mine did that. Their baby is burried near another baby that was full term of another friend. They didn't know the sex so they used their first initials for the baby's name. that way it doesn't really sound like a boy or girl name.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:09 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN