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Does anyone else deal with a negative spouse?

I hardly ever cry, but I just lost it. Does anyone else have a husband that is really negative? We don't have a ton of money right now, but we still have a nice home, two vehicles, food, clothing, our health, an amazing child...everything besides money. He recently started making less and I KNOW he is stressed, but it's like he lets it overshadow the good things in life. I'm so tired of being positive for both of us. I can't do it anymore. He makes comments like, "I have nothing to live for" because he doesn't like his job. He always snaps out of it, but it's these times that really drag me down. How can I stay happy when he is always working against that? Keep in mind, we have all of our needs met, plus some luxuries. We make enough money to pay pills, etc., he just doesn't think he's worked up to a high enough career level at 30 years of age. I don't know, this is partly just a vent. I'm usually really strong. :(


Asked by Anonymous at 5:05 PM on Jun. 13, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • Yeah its hard when your positive and they are not I heard this all of the time after a while I told him it sucked he felt that way but we all had to work to make it better. It took a long time to make it stop or after a while I stopped listening to it. Once you start to ignore it or not respond so quickly it becomes easier for you to let it go. I had to let it go it was hurting me. Start talking about the negative things he says and keep pointing out all of the positive things and after the first round let it go. GL Momma


    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:43 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • my SO acts like that sometimes too but were still young so i always just tell him we have time left. you know, 30 is really not that old. there are people who graduate college at 24, and then decide by 30 that they dont want the career they got there original degree in, and they go back for another couple of years to get a different career. 30 is young nowadays! tell him to go to school. he can take online courses, or just sign up at the community college, or a trade school. financial aid will pay for everything and even give you money at the end of the semester. try and get him motivated to fix the things that are making him sad and if he doesnt want to do that, then tell him to shut the fuck up about it and stop bringing you down too.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 5:11 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • LOL, thanks purpul. I'll admit you've pissed me off in previous posts of yours, but this actually made me smile(the last sentence). You're so brutally honest, and sometimes it's good to hear.Thanks babe! :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:14 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • That is the worst part of our marriage....... i think if my husband had a good attitude our lives would be perfect...

    Answer by glamomomo at 5:53 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • He's just dealing with it the way he knows. It's his issue. Don't make it your's. He'll work through it. My SO is negative too. I just ignore him when he gets like that.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:03 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • Men sometimes get really bend out of shape when it comes to financial issues. They have an overwhelming need to provide. My husband has done this during times of financial stress like when we bought a new house and we couldn't get the old one sold. He kept saying that we made a mistake and it was going to ruin us. (It didn't) I would listen to him and be quiet. He needed to get it out and be listened to. It would have done no good for me to disagree with him or anything because it was how he felt. I just told him that no matter what if we became poor or whatever I would still be happy to be with him. He snapped out of it eventually. As for the job if he hates it, you should encourage him to look for something new. It I draining working somewhere you hate!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:12 PM on Jun. 13, 2010

  • Thanks ladies! It's nice to hear that other people know how I'm feeling! You all deserve best answer! :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:11 PM on Jun. 13, 2010