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2 Bumps

I know this is an odd question...(mostly for moms wanting to adopt, but anyone is welcome to answer)

How would you feel if a couple had a kink about pregnancy/impregnation and got pregnant with the intention of giving the child up for adoption? Would you want to know that was the reason for the child being concieved, or would you rather be kept in the dark and led to believe that the child was the result of an oops, failed b/c or something like that. The child would not be included in the kink or anything, as neither birthparent is into babies or anything like that. But they would be willing to have an open adoption and let the child know their biological heritage and such.

I am asking this because my fiance and I had talked about possibly doing this at some point in the future after we are done having our own children. We both enjoy me being pregnant very much, but only want 2 children and this seems like a winwin. We get to enjoy the pregnancy, and also help another couple who otherwise would not be able to be parents.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on Jun. 14, 2010 in Adoption

Answers (30)
  • I think that would be VERY hard on the baby when they find out when they are older. "My parents had me so she could be pregnant, but they didn't want me, they just wanted the pregnancy for their own jollies". Not to be harsh, but I think the kid is the one who would suffer emotional turmoil about the why he/she was conceived.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:12 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • If I wasn't able to be pregnant I would probably be jealous to hear your reason. I hated my pregnancies though. Awful times.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • OP here. We did think of that and were figuring there would be 2 options. First option being that the child would simply be told that the pregnancy was unplanned, and that we thought that they, and also our current children would have a better life if we gave them up for adoption to a family that couldnt have their own kids and would take great care of them. I don't really like this idea though as it means being blatently dishonest with the child. The 2nd option would be to find a couple that wants to adopt before we even get pregnant and have the baby for them specifically. That way the child could be told that they were concieved because their adoptive parents really wanted them, but couldnt have a baby biologically. And basically just omit the part about the kink that the birthparents get out of it. That way the child is not being lied to, and hopefully realizes that they are there because their adoptive parents wanted them
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • I like option 2 if you decide to go ahead with this, no lies. I think that you should keep thinking about it, discussing it, and researching adoption (especially birthmother forums) to make sure it is a good choice and that you would really be able to relinquish a child. I think that you should also be prepared that, a third child wouldn't be the end of the world for you and nobody (your husband or PAPs) would hold it against you if you change your mind after the birth. What about surrogacy- then the sperm & egg would be theirs but you wouldn't be able to have open contact, idk if that is something you would want after pregnancy bond. Also, know that with an open adoption you have,as of now, no legal rights to enforce the agreement. You might want to form a relationship with potential PAPs before you ever conceive, to make sure they are people you want a lifetime relationship with & to raise your child.
    MarlaMomma

    Answer by MarlaMomma at 1:21 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • -and vice versa, to allow them that benefit too.
    MarlaMomma

    Answer by MarlaMomma at 1:22 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • I would leave "that slot" open for people who really do need to find adoption parents because they accidentally made a baby. Not trying to be rude. But I would find another way to enjoy sex with my partner than make babies just for a fetish.
    You have to remember that baby will have a life. Your putting a new person out into the world just so you can enjoy a couple of months of "hot pregnant sex" ....
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 1:26 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • I would ask why you are not a surrogate. That seems like the biggest win/win. You get paid about $15k to do it too!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:03 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • I would just do surrogacy.
    kimmykim

    Answer by kimmykim at 8:21 PM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • There are plenty of children in need of homes.......um at last count 150 million :(

    Let one of them be adopted.

    And before it comes up YES I have an adopted child and workin on another then hoping to get into foster/adoption after that :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 PM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • OP again. We have considered surrogacy as well, but that lacks the best part of getting pregnant so to speak. I don't want to be crude, or make it seem like the child being created is not an important part of this, because obviously they are. But for us at least, a fair bit of the kink is in the impregnation itself. The idea of knowing each time we make love we could be making a baby is very hot for us.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 PM on Jun. 14, 2010

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