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I don't want to be a mom. What do I do?

I'm a SAHM to a 2 and 4 yo, and I'm miserable. I'm always angry, and it's emotionally damaging my kids. My house is complete chaos with yelling, screaming, and nasty tones of voices. I know that my kids learned to treat people badly because of me, and I don't know what to do. I feel an incredible sense of guilt, and I just want to give up. My husband doesn't want to be around me at home bc I am such a negative person. I feel like I'm trapped in a life I wasn't meant to have. I need some kind words of encouragement.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:41 AM on Jun. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (45)
  • Sweetie,, I think you need to make a doctor's appointment, it sounds like you are struggling with depression,, and without help this will only get worse. Now the good news is that you RECOGNIZE you have an issue,, pleas get help ASAP--your kids and your hubby with thank you!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:43 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • I'm with kimigogo...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • I agree with the two PPs. Also if you are screaming then you need to find a way to walk away from the situation at hand and cool down before dealing with it. Your husband needs to realize he could be more encouraging and helpful with you instead of pushing it off and running from the situation in a sense. Take a deep breath and remember you need time for you by yourself even if it is just a run to the grocery store.
    carmadsmom

    Answer by carmadsmom at 9:49 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • Yeah I agree. Get help now run as fast as you can so that you can start enjoying your children. Take a break get someone to care for your kids and find a place to be alone and clear you head. Being a mom is hard and if we are not given time to be woman we sometimes lose track of being a mom. I am sure you are not alone and getting help will let you know that what you are going through other mothers have to. As soon as you realize that it may make you feel a little better. But please see a Doctor, call today. I hope everything works out.
    Savymom25

    Answer by Savymom25 at 9:50 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • Seeing a Doctor is always the best advice I AGREE!! DON"T GIVE UP!!!!! I think you are a MOM of 2 and that is alot!!!!
    I think before we have children we have our freedom and we can come and go and never "truly" have to worry! I think you need time to yourself....it's not all about potty time, snack time and cleaning house. That gets old real fast.....You need to find what makes you happy plus find a sense of BALANCE!!! I bet you are or you could be a good mom! Your anger will def. wear off on your children but they are still young and if you want them to be nice humans in the world then you still have time. Have you talked with you Hubby to tell him how you feel?? Remember to take one day at a time......find out what is making you angry is it the life you have or something deeper??? Message me if you need someone to talk to......It will be ok!!!
    MayMommy07

    Answer by MayMommy07 at 9:57 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • It's normal to feel like this when you're a SAHM. It can be very demanding, very exhausting, and very taxing on your physical and emotional being. You need to get out of the house for a while. Go out with a couple of relatives or friends. Go get some drinks, go bowling, go have a little fun for yourself. Release some of that anger, tension, and frustration into something productive. The more you bottle it inside the worse it's going to get. You need to be YOU as well as being a mom at home. No women is just a mom. No women can only be just a mom. We're who we are first and foremost, because that is who we were born to be. That means we have to cater to our wants and needs outside of taking care of our kids.

    So before you explode, which I can see is close .. Take a day for yourself. Have the husband, a friend, a relative, or a babysitter take the kids and go have a day for you. Do this AT LEAST once a week.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:21 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • You may want to look into adult ADHD as well. Anger and a short fuse is a big part of it in adults. I have been trying to figure out whats going on with my hubby forever because he just didn't fit into depression or anxiety... just very very irritable, angry, and not coping well with the kids. He has practically every single sign/symptom of adult ADHD. Treating for it has made a HUGE difference in our home life for everyone..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • I have been there before.I'm not gonna lie. I figured out a while ago what it is - I need a job. Being a SAHM isn't for everyone and there isn't anything wrong with that. Sometimes being in the workforce makes you an even better mom.besides that, you should also def. look into seeing a psychiatrist.there's no shame in that. if i could afford it i would too.
    alotta_fagina

    Answer by alotta_fagina at 10:28 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • It is NOT normal to feel that way as a SAHM or as a working mom. It sounds like you're depressed, like the pp's said. Please get help. Things will get better!

    HUGE HUGS!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • I agree with the previous posters about seeking help for your depression. There is NO shame in asking for help, and you have made the first step in admitting you have a problem and that you want things to be better. Please get help, for YOU, your kids, your husband, and all the other people that love you!
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 10:41 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

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